Become
by awesomesen
Summary: That day, in the hospital, the wrong twin died. That year, in Tokyo, everything was different. Who would have thought a little crossdressing would change so much? [heavy AU, dark, violence, language, many pairings]
1. Alter

_-_

_Become_

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Summary: AU. Eight years ago, the Sakurazukamori killed one of the Sumeragi twins. Eight years ago, the surviving twin swore revenge. But it was not supposed to be like this…

_-_

Two days after Subaru died, Hokuto visited Kyoto. She hadn't slept a moment in the interval between his death and her return home, and the lack of sleep, stress and grief were finally beginning to catch up with her. 'Beginning' being a relative term. Hokuto felt like someone had shut off her brain, hit her with a truck, and ripped out her heart - all at once. Insomnia, grief, guilt, fear - perhaps her lack of brain functions was for the best right now. The coherency sleep would give her would also let her remember -

No.

No, no, no.

She paced the entire train ride, not letting herself sit for even half a moment. She walked up and down the car, almost running back and forth at times. Once she fell, the motion of the train and her lack of sleep combining. Her shoulder hit the arm of a chair, her legs twisted beneath her, and sharp pain filled her body. It woke her up-it felt good.

Had Subaru felt-

No. Hokuto stopped herself again. No, she couldn't let herself believe it. She wouldn't - how could it?

Seishiro killed Subaru. Subaru had died. Subaru had been murdered. Seishiro had done it. Seishiro had fed Subaru to his tree - to his stupid, stupid cherry tree. Seishiro was the Sakurazukamori after all, he had-he-

If you make Subaru cry, I'll kill you.

If you-

Had he cried?

No, no, no, stop it. Stop it! Hokuto screamed at herself, dug her nails - manicured weekly, thank-you very much - into her hands, trying to produce blood. The others in the car stared, and when one of them touched her shoulder and asked if she was all right. She swore at them and pushed the man away with bloody hands.

NONONONONO.

Where had she been? Where had she gotten the idea it was okay to leave Subaru for a minute? Where had she gotten it into her head that she could protect him from a distance? She should be dead. She should have saved him - killed Seishiro - stopped it. Stopped it. She should have known from the start he was the Sakurazukamori - she should've - the conductor touched her shoulder, and she screamed.

If you hurt Subaru, I'll kill you.

Two days. Two days. She hadn't allowed herself rest, for fear of nightmares and for fear of clarity. She didn't want to feel better, because then she would understand. Because then she wouldn't feel so torn.

Seishiro had taken Subaru away, taken his heart and then his life.

She had spent a year trusting him! She had tried to get them together! She had told Subaru-she had said-she had wanted them-she made Subaru love-She had told him that Seishiro was-NONONONONONO.

She burst into tears in the middle of the train. Covering her face with her hands and crying in a way she couldn't ever remember crying. Be strong for your brother, Hokuto - Subaru is just so fragile. Hide your worries and fears for his sake-everyone was staring, everyone was staring at this strange girl on the floor, with scratched up hands, shadowed eyes and a murdered brother. She wanted to scream and scream and rip her face to shreds, to die as he died but more painfully. She should be torn into bits, feel everyrip, and enjoy it.

She screamed again, choking on her tears and blood. Suddenly, abruptly-she fell into blackness.

_-_

_"Hokuto?" Kakyo is just as soft and quiet as ever, his eyes anxious. He was so shy-so hesitant-Hokuto had barely had a moment to herself before being pulled into his dream, and she thought he must have been waiting for her to fall asleep. Normally she'd think it was sweet in a pathetic sort of Kakyo way-today she felt irritated._

_"What?" Hokuto said quietly. _

_"I-"Kakyo replied, obviously uncertain. "I'm sorry about Subaru-san."_

_"Lovely," Hokuto snapped. She wanted a chair, and one appeared for her, soft and plush, high-backed with arms. She sat. All of her rage had melted the second she had passed out, all of the fuzziness of the past two days cleared. A thought suddenly came to her, and Hokuto stood back up._

_"You're a Dream-Seer!" She exclaimed, glaring, "I haven't told you about Subaru at all! You knew he was going to die! Why didn't you tell me, huh?" _

_Kakyo looked hurt and guilty. Hokuto sat back down, and her glare turned into a studying gaze. He was so thin - dangerously thin, like he never ate properly - and pallid, his hair long and unkempt and his kimono the same every time she saw him. Yet Kakyo was still handsome, in his way-he looked so much like a kicked puppy, always, that Hokuto could never feel angry towards him._

_Until now._

_"There were two outcomes," Kakyo mumbled at last, "Two potential futures. And I-I didn't want you to know because I didn't… I didn't want you to die."_

_Sweet. Too, too sweet. She loved him so much, but-_

_"He was my brother!" Hokuto yelled, "My twin! Why couldn't you have told me? I don't care how you may or may not feel-I don't care! I-I-"_

_"I'm very sorry," Kakyo said quietly. _

_"And then you summoned me here, didn't you!" Hokuto continued, wanting to take her anger out on someone. Knowing the Dream Seer would sit there and allow her to scream at him, say anything she wanted, and forgive her completely just because he was used to worse. It served to make her angrier. "You made me pass out! You made me faint, so you could-flaunt in my face-Subaru didn't have to die! You made him die!"_

_"The future is different now," Kakyo said softly. "The Sumeragi Head will be in the final battle, one way or another. I'm sorry for what I didn't say, I just wanted to change your fate-I shouldn't have. Please forgive me."_

_She screamed at him, yelled and cried and screamed until she couldn't anymore, until Hokuto couldn't do anything but sit in her chair and cry softly, knees drawn up to her chest, arms around her legs and head resting on the top. This was a time she wanted someone - someone to hug her, comfort her, and tell her it was all right, but her parents had been dead for years and years and Subaru was gone, too. Kakyo wouldn't dream of touching her without her express permission - God, she felt terrible. _

_"Just let me sleep," she said quietly, counting tears. "Kakyo, let me go."_

_Silently, he did, and the darkness was welcoming._

_-_

She woke up only when one of the train's staff woke her, touching her shoulder and called Hokuto softly. Her eyes were so heavy suddenly, so heavy-the attendant smiled down at her in a motherly sort of way.

"Sumeragi-san, we've arrived in Kyoto. Do you require any assistance?"

Hokuto looked out the window and saw the familiar sights. She hated Kyoto, hated and despised it, but she was suddenly glad to be home-and she was a little surprised, honestly, that the train staff had kept her on board after her fit.

"We contacted your grandmother after you fainted," the woman said politely, "We found your name on the ticket. You have our deepest and most sincere sympathy for your brother, and we understand your grief."

Superficial. Shallow. Faint. Her nap had done her coherency well, but Hokuto felt worse. She was getting a headache, too.

"Do you require any help?" the woman asked again.

"No thank-you," Hokuto said. She hadn't really packed, just thrown some clothes into a bag. Even now, she was just wearing a blue dress-no makeup, crazy outfits, styled hair. Subaru will be quite amused, Hokuto thought, before remembering. Her grip on the bag loosened, her vision blurred. No. No-no.

She blinked until her eyes cleared, and walked off the train.

A vaguely familiar man was waiting for her at the platform - probably a distant cousin of Hokuto's, one of the losers that followed her grandmother around everywhere, hoping to become an Onmyoji if they stayed around her long enough. Pathetic. He bowed to her, far deeper then she was used to.

"Sumeragi-san, I have come to escort you to the home of your grandmother," the man said formally.

"Shut the hell up," Hokuto replied, tossing him her bag and feeling satisfied when it grazed his shoulder. She really, really hated Kyoto-especially now. See what you've done, grandmother? See? You've killed Subaru, just as much as the Sakurazukamori did. You made him be the head of the Sumeragi clan. You left him alone that day-you. You.

There was a car waiting. The man drove.

Grandmother had called, in the very early hours of the day before. Hokuto didn't know how she knew Subaru was dead - she hadn't cared. Grandmother had called, and told her to return to Kyoto. At once. Hokuto was always a little bemused and a little frightened whenher grandmother referred to her directly - had there ever been a time Hokuto had mattered to the least to the woman when Subaru wasn't also around? But now - God, now the hag was Hokuto's only living relative.

She hadn't been able to refuse, especially not now. Especially not when Grandmother addressed her directly, hardly mentioning Subaru - Hokuto-san, I need to speak with you. You need to return home - you'll be safer. Please come home, Hokuto-san. It would not be right to loose you, too.

Seishiro's eye had been lost for Subaru's sake, and that had proved with finality that he was not really the Sakurazukamori in Hokuto's mind. How could he be evil, to sacrifice something so permanent? It was easy to joke he was the Sakurazukamori, and she had certainly been suspicious, but-

And right when she was sure, and right when Subaru was in love-No. No, no, no. She hadn't been able to do anything. She might as well have handed Subaru to Seishiro - tied a bow around his neck and said 'Here, take him. Kill him.'

She had all but done it, not only that day but also the entire year before. God. She had thought he might've been the Sakurazukamori - why hadn't she decided to be careful? Why had she bet her brother's life? She was so STUPID. STUPID.

Hokuto examined the cuts on her hands, four little crescents, and red and slightly scabbed. The same marks were on her left hand. Both hands stained ever so slightly red from blood-not enough. Not enough.

She ought to be dead.

Why hadn't Kakyo done anything? He should have told her-he should have-Subaru might still be alive, still be alive-If only-If only-The tears were returning, but Hokuto didn't let herself cry in front of this stupid cousin.

She couldn't.

Subaru-I knew you weren't going to last in this world, but why did you have to die like that? Hokuto screamed, in her head so loud it hurt. Subaru-We've never been apart, we're not supposed to be apart. Twins are supposed to be together, always-We shared a womb and a bedroom and a birthday and everything-Subaru-

She had known the moment he died. She had felt it-a hammer to her chest, not ripping her heart but flattening it. Out of nowhere. Hokuto had had no real reason to fear or think he was dead-but she had known.

Seishiro, you bastard. I loved you too, you know-Bastard. You killed him, and not only him but me, and not only that, either-no. You let us love you first, and now we aren't even an us just a me. Bastard. I told you I'd kill you if you hurt him, but I couldn't even keep that promise. Bastard-Bastard-Bastard-

She clenched her fists and bit her lip and the pain from both felt soothing.

_-_

"It will not be Subaru-san's name on that stone," Grandmother said.

Hokuto had been brought to the Sumeragi home, washed up, and was escorted to the tearoom. Because, of course, two days after Subaru had died, there was nothing better to do then drink tea. Of course.

"What do you mean?"

Grandmother, Hokuto had noticed, was in a wheelchair now. She had tried to save Subaru. She had failed. It was hard to get used to the fact that she was in a wheelchair - she still wore her kimono, her hair still tied up in an old fashioned sort of way. Even she had failed to save Subaru. It made Hokuto feel better, inexplicably. Not just because Grandmother was supposed to be a great Onmyoji and yet was unable to save Subaru either, but simply because she had failed.

"Subaru-san ought not to have died."

"No kidding," Hokuto snapped.

"There is no need for such a tone."

Grandmother had not made the tea, not in her wheelchair. A woman had - another vaguely recognizable cousin - and she had doneso with a sort of comforting sort of grace. Hokuto had learned the tea ceremony, once, but she had never been good at it. The measured movements usually seemed so boring, but today they were calming in their slowness and familiarity.

"Excuse me for being a little upset," she replied, not quite able to keep the sarcasm out of her voice. She felt a wave of anger - Subaru is dead, and all she could do was fight with their Grandmother? She was that pathetic? It was one thing to burst into tears on a train full of strangers, but it was another thing to do so in front of her Grandmother. Hokuto clenched her fists in her lap.

Grandmother sighed. "I'm sorry, Hokuto-san. I'm sorry for not preventing this."

She didn't reply. She focused on her breathing. A spell came into her head, suddenly: one of Subaru's most basic exorcism spells, meant for only the most benign on ghosts. She repeated the words in her head again and again - a mantra with which to stay calm.

"Subaru-san… was not meant to die. He… had a role in the future to fulfill."

The words the words the words…

"The world will end in 1999, and the Sumeragi head will fight in the final battle," Grandmother said solemnly, and it wasn't so much surprise as recognition that lifted Hokuto's head. Kakyo had said something like that…

"So you're the Sumeragi head again?" Hokuto said quietly, amused despite herself at the idea of her wheelchair bound, ancient grandmother fighting on the promised day. She knew about the world ending in 1999 - it was pretty common knowledge around the Sumeragi household - and she had suspected Subaru might have a hand in it… Her amusement vanished rather suddenly as Hokuto remembered with a sick feeling.

Was this how the rest of her life would be? Blood filled her fists again, and Hokuto loosened her grip. It wouldn't do to have scars, she thought for just a second, before realizing her vanity and letting her fingers dig tightly into her skin again.

"You are," Grandmother said quietly. "As Subaru-san's closest relative, you will take his place in the final battle."

The woman poured the tea into two cups.

Hokuto tried to breath.

"I can't," she said at last.

"You must. Subaru-san ought not to have died. No one will know he did."

"No," Hokuto breathed, "No, no, no."

"If people discover that Subaru-san - that another Sumeragi head - was killed by the Sakurazukamori… it will not be pleasant for us. And he must fight in the final battle."

"He's dead!" Hokuto shouted. The woman placed a cup in front of her, and she knocked it over. The hot tea burnt her hand. "He's dead! Seishiro killed him! Seishiro killed Subaru, and all you can think about is-is the clan's stupid pride?" The tea began to seep into the floor. Her hand was pretty badly burnt. No one moved.

"This is greater than pride. A Sumeragi head must fight in the final battle. A Subaru must fight on the promised day. Hokuto-san, you should begin to receive his powers over the next days."

_A Subaru…_ Hokuto watched her hand turn red. _A Subaru…_ _NO_.

"What are you suggesting," she said lowly.

"There is no other way," Grandmother replied heavily. "I'm sorry, Hokuto-san. It will be _your _name on that grave."

_-_


	2. Dream

Chapter two, out just in time for dear Hokuto and Subaru's birthday! Our favorite pair of twins would have been thirty-one today, had they survived and been real. Thanks especially to those who reviewed chapter one, and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter - feedback of any kind is highly appreciated, especially as this is my first multi-part X fanfiction.

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_Become (chapter two - Dream)_

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You will become Subaru-san.

_She fell._

_Somewhere along the line she had fallen asleep or fainted, and at first she thought she was in one of Kakyo's dreamscapes. It certainly looked like his had a tendency to - dark, glass, silent - but after a moment she noticed the Images. _

_Hers. _

_She tried not to look, tried to run past the pictures, and so she fell instead. _

_That was really all right._

_She normally wasn't too good with falling - heights wasn't a problem, but jumping off the high-dive was somehow different and worse, something to be avoided. Once, in junior high, she and Subaru had gone to a ropes course. She had had to climb a tree and then jump down, twenty feet up. Climbing was easy. Letting go was not._

_But for some reason now, falling was okay. More then okay - almost fun._

_The biggest problem was that she knew better. Hokuto hated her grandmother, but not because her grandmother was a bad person. Just because she was so proper, and because she always knew what was best. _

_Even now._

You'd do worse for his sake.

_It was mean. It was unfair. It was completely out of Hokuto's character, except she _would _do worse if given the chance and she was aware of this. Not everyone would have to know - just like not everyone would not know. One Onmyoji was, to untrained eyes, like another._

_She enjoyed playing dress-up._

_She fell and fell. _

_All around her were pictures, photographs of memories that were never taken. Hokuto didn't want to look at them. She wouldn't. But she couldn't close her eyes and the less she tried to see the memories the more they appeared and the faster she fell. _

_Strings, white and fragile cotton threads, trailed after her, wrapping around her and hesitantly tugging upwards twice. The third time, the tug was a yank and Hokuto was pulled up again. She hadn't even realized she was underwater until Kakyo pulled her from it._

_The cotton threads dissolved and vanished. _

_"Hokuto…?" Kakyo's tone was worried. He was always worried, always _there_, always in time to help her, even when she was taking her anger out on him. She closed her eyes._

_"I'm sorry," she said quietly. Black glass and orange fallen leaves was everywhere. He usually favored the ocean she had given him, but Kakyo was still prone to fits of depression and those times lent themselves to the stark, reflective dreamscape they were in now. Hokuto had never noticed before, but it was pretty in a dark, empty way._

_She sat on the floor, drawing her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them again. _

_"It's okay," Kakyo said, as she knew he would._

_Why was she so tired? How could one be tired in a dream? Her eyes were so heavy… She felt like scolding Kakyo - You ought to stop being so self-depressive, really, because how else will things get better for you, huh? If you keep thinking you're not worth anything, then people will keep hurting you, because they'll believe it, too- _

_But she couldn't speak. It was too much bother, too much effort, too much. "I'm sorry," she repeated, and the words seemed heavy. _

_"I'm sorry as well," Kakyo replied, quiet. _

_It all felt so strange. Unbelievable. As if any second, Subaru would re-appear, even though she knew he wouldn't. A strange feeling of longing filled her, as if he was just away for a while, but she knew better - she knew he wouldn't be. Numb, guilt, a feeling of pining - a hope he would return, the knowledge he would not. And tears - just when she thought she was done crying, more tears would creep behind her eyes and laugh at her naivety. Her parents had died when she was young, so young… Hokuto hardly remembered them, and couldn't remember missing them. _

_Alone. _

_She sat there, quiet, and Kakyo sat not even a meter away, but she was completely and totally alone. Was this how it felt to be depressed? Was this how Kakyo felt, how Subaru felt, how all those ghosts felt? She tried to tell herself to stop - to feel better - but that was impossible, uncontrollable. _

_Hokuto had very little patience for depression. Life, she had always figured, was mostly good, and it was only as horrible as you let it be. Some things were out of human control, but it was up to the person to seek out better things, to recover and find happiness. This view always seemed so logical, so perfect to Hokuto - she had determined that depressed people just couldn't see this, weren't willing to try and be happy. That secretly, they enjoyed their sadness - a badge of suffering, a way to earn pity because they could not find respect. _

_She had been completely wrong._

_There was nothing she could do-nothing. It was a wave, an ocean, a scent in the air - was grief supposed to feel like this? What was the point to grief and regret if it made you feel so horrible? _

_What would she do now?_

For the clan's sake…

_Oh. Right. Eight little crescent moons on the palms of her hands, little cuts that had felt so much bigger and worse then they were. They were small, insignificant. Just like that name of hers, just like Hokuto._

You will become

_"My grandmother told me," Hokuto said quietly, "That I must take on Subaru's role in our clan."_

_"I know," Kakyo said, "I saw it."_

_She sighed. The words were so heavy, so difficult to say. Hokuto had expected them to be choked, blurred or hoarse, but her voice was clear and calm. This bothered her._

_"I do not understand why, however," the Dream-Seer continued, sounding as if he had rehearsed the question, as if it was a line from a book. A prompt. Aah - Hokuto thought - That's why._

_The jumble in her mind didn't allow her clarity, only a feeling of pity and sorrow and hopelessness. Her heart protested and complained, and her mind could only respond 'because.' And, as any child knew, because was hardly an answer at all. It was hard to understand things sometimes, but it was always easy to explain._

_"Because it's the only way," she said anyway, "Because if I don't become Subaru, the clan will die."_

_Half of Hokuto's arguments with the Lady Sumeragi, growing up, had been about Subaru and the proper care of him. The other half had been with Grandmother's way of sacrificing someone's happiness for the sake of solving a problem, her habit of picking the slightly simpler and more painful answer to a problem. Hokuto believed in sacrifice for the sake of others: She didn't believe it was up to a third party to decide if the sacrifice ought to take place. _

_Hokuto had screamed at Grandmother when the woman suggested it. Screamed and screamed until she had no arguments, only curses and repeated, weak phrases. It was the only way. The only way. _

_Grandmother would sacrifice her for the clan's sake._

Become Subaru

_"The Sumeragi clan isn't as prosperous as it was a couple hundred years ago," Hokuto continued, heavily, clearly, "People now are more likely to explain supernatural phenomena away as mental problems or electronic malfunctions. Back in the nineteenth centaury, the Sumeragi clan had their hands full - there had to be at least seven or eight fully trained Onmyoji at all times, to bless shrines and exorcise spirits. There are just as many ghosts and things now as there were then, but people tend not to take magic seriously anymore. Subaru is… was the only Onmyoji in our clan that actually does… did work on a regular basis. And if that wasn't bad enough, this isn't the sort of business that you can advertise in the newspaper. It's a word-of-mouth sort of thing, and reputation matters a lot."_

_Her tone slowly became more reciting, as if she were reading from a book. Hokuto hardly thought about the words as she spoke them, but while her voice became clearer, her mind did not. Subaru… For at least the fourth time, Hokuto felt her nails dig into her palms as she attempted to keep the tears away._

_Was she talking to Kakyo, or herself? She had her eyes closed, and couldn't tell. _

_"Well anyway, there's also the… the Sakurazukamori. Guardian of the Cherry Blossom Burial Mounds and all that… assassin Onmyoji for hire. Normally the government will hire them, or rich people I guess, but they have to constantly-" She had to stop for a minute. Her breath was, for some reason, coming far too quickly. "-They have to constantly kill people. To-to feed to their cherry tree. And when they don't have someone to assassinate-They'll just kill s-someone else." Hokuto couldn't breathe, suddenly. She closed her eyes as tight as she could, so tightly that spots of color began to appear under the lids. There was the sound of rustling cloth, and Hokuto was vaguely surprised when Kakyo's hand came to rest on her arm, barely touching her but somehow comforting all the same._

_"And the members of the Sumeragi clan," Hokuto said, almost whispering, "Have the tendency to be killed by the Sakurazukamori clan. It's how my parents died, and it's-Seishiro is-Subaru-" She didn't have to finish, Kakyo knew this part, but-_

_She told herself to calm down, to get a grip. Yelled it in her head until it hurt, and opened her eyes, looking ahead of her and not at Kakyo. She finished quickly. "But it's never before been the head of the clan killed. For Subaru to have died like that… it's bad for the clan's reputation. Bad for business. We're not talking a couple people here; Subaru's earnings supported at least forty people. So… since I'm Subaru's closest relative… I have to take over. I've never had much power, but with him gone I should get… transfer… power. I pretend to be Subaru when on the job, and I take over as Sumeragi head. Simple as… simple as that."_

_"It's the only way," she said finally, glancing over at Kakyo at last. "The only way there is."_

-

_It was not the only way. Seeing the future was never as simple as it was made out to be, a bizarre mix of probability, symbolism and knowledge. There were only a few things that would happen No Matter What, and even they could result from different things: someone destined to die on a day would die, but it might be from illness or murder, suicide or accident. _

_The only guarantee was that he would be dead by midnight of that day._

_Kakyo had, over the years, gotten quite good at reading the future. He was usually right, and usually confident in what he Saw - whether the outcome was favorable or not. But this future - Hokuto's future - _

_Almost completely out of left field. It had been possible, and Kakyo had hoped - desperately, desperately hoped - but it was not what he had Seen. For the past weeks, it had been Hokuto dead under the cherry tree, and Subaru alive and grieving._

_He had been wrong. _

_And it wasn't like Kakyo minded, either - god no. Even though she was hurting, Kakyo was happy. Hopeful._

_Hokuto had left at last, wiping her tears and smiling weakly. She had asked to have a week to herself, without his visits, and had promised to be back to normal ("or at least better at pretending it") after that period. She had hugged him then, rather enthusiastically, and kissed his cheek - was it wrong for Kakyo to be hopeful? She was alive; she would - with luck - remain alive._

_Yes, he was happy - happier then Kakyo had been in years._

_But for one thing - the Future had changed. _

_Drastically. _

_So many small things were so different now - and all at once. For the first time in his life, Kakyo had no idea at all as to what the next day might hold. He only Saw images from the old future, the one that would not happen._

_Perhaps, he had decided, he was too close to Hokuto. She clouded his vision._

_So Kakyo did the one thing he never did: He sought out other Dream Seers._

_There were two he knew of, two other Dream Seers with direct involvement in the End of the World. Kakyo went to the younger of the two's dream, first - Kotori was the girl's name, and she was seven years old. It was not the ideal situation for spying on a dream, but Kakyo didn't much like the other Seer about._

_But Kotori's dream was simple and not involved in the future - Kakyo watched her, dream-brother and dream-Kamui play for a moment, before resigning himself to Hinoto._

_He didn't know how long he had been aware of the so-called 'Princess,' but it had been years. They both saw the End and were both aware of it, but they were on different sides of the battle and… Kakyo didn't know why, but there had always been a feeling of _something _wrong about her, something darker underneath the fragile, doll-like, glass exterior. That under the sweet voice was a bitter one. He didn't try and hide his nature in his Dream, but Hinoto liked to keep secrets, hide dreams. It was… disconcerting._

_'Kakyo,' she 'said' the moment he entered her dream, looking over at him with large, blank eyes. 'Normally, I would be surprised to see you here… But this is not a normal situation. Not any longer.'_

_The bitter, sarcastic, and repressed part of Kakyo wanted to ask the other Dream-Seer what part of 'seeing the future' was normal. The rest of him bowed his head. "No, it's not. I foretold the future wrongly… and so did you."_

_He looked up just in time to see a flash of something on Hinoto's face - something black and twisted. Oh, he knew of her fears - she could hide them from her sister, but Kakyo was perhaps even a stronger Seer then she, and could see the dreams of failure and defeat she hated so much._

_And she probably knew he knew. It was a strange world they inhabited, where you could learn a person's darkest fears and desires in a moment and show them to anyone. Lies and secrets were quaint and contradicted from the moment you conceived one, because even if you did not know what the truth was, you still knew what the lies were._

_'And I take it that you cannot see the new future either?' Hinoto said quietly. 'You certainly didn't come here to gloat.'_

_"So you, too, have lost sight of the future," Kakyo sighed. _

_'The girl has new dreams,' Hinoto said finally, reluctantly. He'd find out anyway, so there was no real point in hiding the fact. 'At least, she was having them earlier. The Sumeragi head's passing-the players will still be the same, but I believe the game shall be different.'_

_"Subaru-san has a sister."_

_'Whom you have been entertaining in your dreams these past months! I wasn't aware that the Harbingers were allowed to fall in love.'_

_Kakyo clenched his fists, annoyed. "That is none of your concern. I am not yet a Harbinger, and just because I am capable of caring for one person does not change my goals. At least I can care for someone other then myself."_

_'Touché.' Hinoto replied, smiling bitterly. 'The girl shall take on her brother's role, however - So she will be a Dragon of Heaven. That should lend itself to an amusing future - Especially as you will not be telling her of your role in the End.'_

_"Why are we discussing this?" Kakyo said, growing angry, "This is speculation-and there are more important things to worry about."_

_'For me, perhaps.' Hinoto said gracefully. 'I am the one with a new Seal to fret about. Your side, I think, should be pleased with the change.'_

_"I am not," Kakyo snapped, "And the Sakurazukamori-" he stopped, eyes widening. Hinoto watched, smiling. _

_'So, you can See something, after all.'_

_"By your tone, I take it you have realized as well."_

_'Oh, yes,' she said, 'Yes, I have. This girl-she is not as kind as her brother was.'_

_"…It is still an assumption."_

_'No, it is the future,' Hinoto said, and as she spoke, she sounded faintly delighted._

-


	3. Boy A

* * *

_Thanks very, very much for the reviews - I know a good author is supposed to not care about them, but I guess I'm just a bad writer like that. :P They make my life happy. Sorry for the horrid delay, I had some pretty bad personal and family problems that kept me distracted from writing, not to mention a king sized portion of Writer's Block after that. I'd like to say it won't happen again, but that might not be the case - I can say, however, that I will not give up on this 'fic, no matter how long it takes me to write._

• • •

_Become (chapter three - Boy A)_

• • •

Hokuto woke up an hour before her alarm clock went off, and spent that time staring at the green digital numbers blankly, watching them tick by. She didn't think much, just stared at the light sleepily.

Three years ago, she would have been out of bed by now. She would have been cooking breakfast, doing some early morning cleaning perhaps, getting ready for school and getting Subaru ready for work. Planning her day, trying to remember if Sei-chan was busy or not, trying to schedule her day around him and Subaru.

She could let herself think it now. She could let herself remember without wanting to die. It was… okay. In itself, a part of that seemed wrong. Hokuto shouldn't be okay; she shouldn't be able to be okay, ever. It was just that three years without Subaru or Seishiro… how could she continue to hate Seishiro when he wasn't around to hate? How could she continue to linger on Subaru when he had been gone for three years?

And really, Hokuto thought, getting up and dressing, she had been far too busy for reminiscing about the past. When she was younger, she had been trained in the Onmyoji arts, but that had stopped when she was twelve. The amount that she had forgotten in four years was amazing, and by the time she had been mentally fit enough to resume her training Hokuto had practically had to start from the very beginning. The past three years had been spent re-learning the Onmyoji arts and learning new techniques… not to mention the other things Hokuto had to learn now.

Grandmother had not been kidding when she said Hokuto would have to become Subaru.

She looked at herself in the mirror when she was done dressing, admiring herself vaguely. The days of costumes and dress were long gone, the clothes abandoned and gone. She wore simple black slacks and a black long sleeved shirt, the clothes loose enough to hide her hips and tight enough to prove her chest completely flat. Her hair in the mirror was short, a boy's haircut that brushed the top of her ears, her face completely bare of makeup. She was short, feminine - and, to someone who didn't know better - definitely _male_.

Not just any boy, either - she was Subaru Sumeragi, 13th Head of the Sumeragi Clan to anyone who asked - only a handful of people knew that Subaru was the one who had died that day. It had been disconcerting at first to hear people ask her how she was coping with her sister's death, but Hokuto had gotten used to it… it was even true in a sense. Hokuto _was_ dead - the only time she was a girl anymore was when she was sleeping or taking a shower, when she wasn't holding up the act. Her speech, walk—everything had been changed.

In a strange way, she liked it.

She liked introducing herself as Subaru Sumeragi, liked the authority given to her simply by having that name - she even, in a way, liked that when the occasional person asked after her dead twin, she could answer 'I miss Hokuto terribly,' and in that same odd way be perfectly sincere in saying so.

Some things she didn't like so much, though. Hokuto was grateful that she had never had a very large chest - her bindings hurt from their tightness, and she could only imagine that larger breasts would be even more uncomfortable and harder to hide. Hokuto had had to give up several friends to complete the ruse - Grandmother had told her that wouldn't be entirely necessary, that she would be Subaru in title only, but Hokuto liked to go all the way with ideas. With only one exception, Hokuto had lost contact with all of her old friends, regardless of who they were. She had likewise given up hobbies and her clothes making - Subaru wouldn't have done them, and she didn't have the _time_ anyway. Hokuto was now a fully functioning Onmyoji… but she still needed constant training and studying if she hoped to get to the level Subaru had been.

Hokuto skipped breakfast and locked the apartment behind her.

She would be walking, at least mostly, to her job. A simple exorcism—Hokuto was relieved. She could handle ghosts with a relative ease now, although less benign beings were still a problem most of the time. Of course, that was a problem for the clan - and one usually solved with the excuse that Hokuto - _Subaru_ - was out training and sending someone else to do the job instead.

But not today. Hokuto felt an odd sort of pride in herself - that today, she would be doing a job herself. Even if it was just a simple ghost, she would be the one to -

"Well, what a surprise!" Someone said pleasantly from behind her. "If I didn't know better, I'd say I was seeing Subaru-kun… but that's impossible."

She could picture the smile he wore in her head, clear as the street in front of her. Something stopped. Her heart - her throat - she was aware they were still working, but she couldn't feel anything but a weight, a heavy heavy weight suddenly dropped down on her - flattening her -

"But still, it's very pleasant to see you again… Hokuto-chan."

There were other people in the streets, hundreds of them passing them by. Did they wonder 'who are these two people?' Probably not - probably no more then 'why are these two people (_these two men_) standing still in the middle of the street? It's inconvenient.'

They didn't know - they couldn't - _how had he found her?_ Hokuto wondered frantically, briefly, if she herself had Marks she was unaware of - physical ones, anyway, she was sure her insides were all scratched up by him - she wondered why he had found her - she wondered a thousand half realized things, all in the time it took her to slowly turn around to look at the Sakurazukamori.

_Do I say hello?_ She wondered, a clear bubble of thought amongst the chaos.

Seishiro had gotten a hair cut, not so much a change in length but style. In the same moment, Hokuto took in his clothing and the black gloves he wore - an old habit - but couldn't look at his face. His eye. The one thing she couldn't understand - if he had hated Subaru enough to kill him in cold blood - why sacrifice his eye? Somehow, the white glass seemed a more accurate color for him then the warm honey-brown.

His voice remained pleasant, sounding for all the world like he truly was greeting an old friend. "When I saw you, I just had to see if it really was Hokuto-chan—" the name was unfamiliar to her, even Hokuto sometimes thought of herself as Subaru, and the old name was a slap each time it was said. "To be honest, I wondered for a moment if I had killed the wrong one… you looked much cuter when you were a girl."

She clenched her fists but said nothing. What could she say? She kept her mouth closed and breathed through her nose, because if she opened her mouth her soul would fall out and she would die, crushed from the pressure of the weights Seishiro - _Sei-chan _- kept tossing on.

_Three years ago all that mattered was Subaru and Seishiro and three years ago she had loved them both more than any other people -_

He smiled at her, looking exactly the same despite the changes. "Rumor has it," he said lightly, despite there being no such rumor, "That you are now the Sumeragi Clan head. I'm sorry I didn't hear earlier. I'd like to offer my congratulations."

She didn't trust herself to speak, didn't know what to say. Her nails were kept short now, and she wore gloves, but she clenched her fists so tightly shut that she wondered if she would cut the skin again despite that.

Seishiro frowned, but _amusedly_ so, like he was enjoying the charade. He was, probably. Hokuto wanted to swallow but couldn't for the pressure. "I think I liked Hokuto-chan better then whoever you are now. You're so unfriendly."

She had imagined this many times, meeting Seishiro again. She had always been able to tell him what he was, and if not shame him then at least prove her superiority to him before killing him just like he had killed Subaru—he would try and get her to change her mind, but she wouldn't - she would be just as merciless as he was—

And here he was, and Hokuto hardly trusted herself to _blink_, let alone speak. "Y-you killed him," she said, her voice so weak she didn't recognize it. She meant to continue and tell him how much she hated him, how her only dream was to kill him, but her voice, too, was lost under the pressure.

"That I did," Seishiro said calmly, smiling faintly.

Hokuto took a breath and meant to speak, but couldn't. Tears suddenly began to fight their way out - no - she couldn't cry - she couldn't - not with Seishiro - no -- it was no use. The rocks were actually water, and the pressure rose until she _was_ crying, first trying to blink the tears away and then trying to wipe them away before anyone - before Seishiro - could see them.

It was no use.

She cried like that, standing alone in the middle of a crowded sidewalk, conscious of herself but unable to stop - until a hand fell onto her shoulder softly. And before she could even stop to think about it, stop to realize it (or perhaps in spite of it), she fell into the Sakurazukamori's arms, sobbing and crying over the dead brother he had killed and she had Become.

He offered no words of comfort, no sweet gestures, just allowed her to stand there and pretend he was Sei-chan after all, pretend he was something they both knew he was not. If she was Subaru then he could be Sei-chan for her—she'd let him tear up her hands in any way he pleased, just so long as he took up his charade again for her. It was so hard to loose a brother, and harder when he had been killed by her second love - Sei-chan, she wanted to say through her tears and did - Please pretend with me. Please.

And her brother's murderer smiled and held her while she cried, so close and yet miles and miles away.

_(please become him again please become him become)_

"It'll be alright," Seishiro says idly, uncaring, and he makes no promise to kill her.

_(please)_

• • •

* * *


	4. Boy B

* * *

_Thanks to Sophia Prester for yet another great beta-reading job! Thanks also to those who reviewed... _

* * *

_Become (chapter four - Boy B) _

Satoko Iizuka had been waiting impatiently by the door for an hour, not because the Onmyoji she had hired was late but because she was worried that if she didn't greet him immediately, the neighbors would see him standing on the porch and everyone would know that Hiroshi's death hadn't been quite as simple as it had seemed.

At last she saw the boy - he _had_ to be the Onmyoji, everyone else in the neighborhood fit in - walking up the street, stopping once to examine a slip of paper that he then placed in his pocket. Short, slightly messy black hair, pale skin, small for a boy, wearing shapeless black trousers and shirt. He wore gloves and, when he got closer, Satoko could see that his eyes were an odd green that should have been lovely but were somehow dull. She stepped back from the window so he wouldn't notice her, and counted to twenty before opening the door.

"Are you Sumeragi?" she asked curtly.

"Yes," he replied with an odd, faint smile, "I'm Subaru."

* * *

_Kakyo waited for Hokuto with growing impatience. She had been sleeping less and less lately, only when she absolutely had to. It wasn't merely a matter of loneliness any more - Kakyo was worried for her health. Ever since she had run into the Sakurazukamori, Hokuto had been erratic, upset - it had been nearly six months since their first meeting, and although Hokuto never told him about it directly Kakyo still knew. They were still meeting. _

_The Sakurazukamori sought her out, toyed with her. From the glimpses Kakyo received - never before had he _wanted _to see something - he saw that the Sakurazukamori would stay just long enough for Hokuto to lose her control before leaving, working her up and vanishing again. _

_Hokuto's dreams in the past month had grown darker and darker; hatred mixed with longing, violence, and love. She was, Kakyo feared, becoming unstable - and when he drew her into his dream…_

_She appeared then, not herself but a memory of her, and only for an instant did she take on the form of the girl she was. She smiled at him, shook her head. "How many times do I have to tell you? My name is _Subaru_." She said, using her adopted way of speech and a tone too polite to be her own, her conviction absolute._

_The sakurazukamori, Kakyo had decided, wanted Hokuto this way - although for what purpose he could not yet decipher. The Sakurazukamori wanted Hokuto to hate him _and_ love him… to never recover from him. _

_Please be Hokuto again, Kakyo had pleaded. This is killing you._

_Subaru smiled faintly. I won't pretend to be someone I'm not, he promised, a hint of a laugh in his voice._

_"I learned a game in school today," Kotori says shyly, smiling. "Ring-around the Rosie. It's very easy to play - you hold hands and walk in a circle. Do you want to see?"_

_She does not care about seeing the future, dismissing it when she has the chance. 1999 is fast approaching, but she would rather play games. Hinoto is slightly worse for her arrogance, but today Kakyo wants answers - his Sight is as strong as ever, but he cannot see Hokuto's future. It is fluid, changing from moment to moment - like _Kamui_, she has two futures, but hers are smaller and are dependant on who she decides she is. All Kakyo knows is that he does not want Hokuto to fight as her brother - and all he knows is that that is exactly what the Sakurazukamori _does _want._

_"Ring around the Rosie, pocket full of posies," Kotori chants. _

_"In the end it doesn't matter what the girl chooses," Hinoto says quietly. "Don't fret over her future."_

_"Ashes, ashes,"_

_"And the Sakurazukamori will be on your side, didn't you know? You should make peace with him now. I'd think you'd appreciate his games. One less Dragon of Heaven makes for a greater chance of your victory, after all."_

_"We all fall down," Kotori finishes, sitting down quickly and beaming._

* * *

"So," Satoko said finally, "I trust you have the information you need?"

Subaru nodded his head slowly, eyes not leaving the wall. Satoko was glad the boy seemed to be a professional, but… well, his youth was unnerving, as was the way he carried himself - he had come inside, glanced around, walked to the living room and had spent the past ten minutes standing next to the couch staring at the far wall. It wasn't even like he was concentrating - just staring. Satoko pressed her lips together. She just _knew_ that hiring an Onmyoji would turn out to be a bad idea…

"What was his name?" Subaru said quietly, nevertheless startling Satoko. His voice was odd, too young for him - slightly too high, as if he had never completely gone through puberty.

"Hiroshi. Iizuka Hiroshi. He was twenty-four."

"I meant him," Subaru said, pointing to a wedding photo on the wall.

"…Kenta. My second husband," Satoko hesitated slightly. "Why?"

Subaru shrugged. "I was curious. Hiroshi-san isn't here at the present. What time does he normally disturb you?"

The sun glared through the blinds. "Not until I go to bed," Satoko admitted. "It's always _such_ a bother, really. I mean, during the day I could just leave, let the boy make a fuss, but I need to sleep, don't I?" She nodded in agreement with her own words, not even paying attention to Sumeragi anymore. "Well, in a way I'm not surprised."

Subaru turned to face her, arms crossed over his chest in more of a nervous than aggressive way. "Because ghosts haunt at night?"

"Because Hiroshi just _loves_ to make things difficult for me!" Satoko said firmly. "I used to be quite beautiful, you know - I still am, of course, but more so. But my first husband knocked me up and walked out, and there I was, life over at age twenty-two… You understand how difficult it was."

"Of course," Subaru demurred. "I can summon Hiroshi-san here now if you'd like, but it might be best if you left the room."

Satoko frowned. "Not going to steal from me, are you?" she asked coolly, glancing at the display case in the corner.

"If Hiroshi-san is really as difficult a ghost as you say, there might be some complications when I call him here. It would be safest if you waited in the hall - you can leave the door open and watch if you'd like, however," Subaru said with a slight, thin smile. Satoko almost felt insulted, but the boy's tone was so polite that she couldn't figure out how to word her reply.

Satoko then remembered that the Sumeragi clan was a very old family, which quite possibly also meant old _money_… She'd probably just been offensive, explaining the boy's own offensive behavior. She pursed her lips. "I'll be in the kitchen. Get rid of him quickly, will you?"

She didn't see Subaru roll his eyes as she left.

* * *

_Kakyo didn't tell anyone (although Hinoto probably knew anyway), but once he had tried to speak to the Sakurazukamori, just to see what would happen. They were - or would be, at any rate - teammates in the end of the world, so Kakyo figured it would make a decent excuse for summoning the man into his dream._

_Truth be told, Kakyo was scared of the sakurazukamori. Hokuto was so strong, and he had destroyed her completely… but he knew he had to try. He had asked the sakurazukamori about Hokuto's brother - about Subaru. Why did you kill him? Didn't you care about him, his feelings for you? Didn't you care about Hokuto and her feelings?_

_He didn't expect the truth, not exactly, but sometimes a lie could be just as revealing. But before he could do anything, the sakurazukamori turned the conversation to Kakyo himself - asked him how he could preach about his love for Hokuto and still remain a Dragon of Earth. If you care for one person, how can you want to kill them all?_

_Kakyo had struggled with an answer, trying to put into words how Hokuto was the exception and not the rule, tried to explain how everyone had always hurt him, and how simply by existing people would hurt him - as long as there were people, there would be dreams to watch. When awake they hurt him personally, when asleep he was tormented with their futures-_

_The sakurazukamori had interrupted him about halfway through that with a charming smile that was sharp like glass. "I don't really care about you and your problems," he said coolly, and though Kakyo had been told worse over the years, something about his tone - so casual, so sincere - threw him off guard. _

_"Do you care about Hokuto?"_

_The sakurazukamori regarded Kakyo for a moment before answering with another glass smile and a slight, friendly shrug. "Hokuto-chan… she's cute."_

* * *

"And when I was eight," the ghost said, arms crossed in front of it and nodding in agreement with itself, "Mother bought me one present - only one - on my birthday. And it wasn't even something good - it was a pair of socks. _Gray_ socks."

"Horrible," Subaru replied, sitting on the couch.

"I don't need your sarcasm," the ghost said snootily. "And anyway, it gets worse. When I was nine, my birthday dinner was _fried squid_. I hate fried squid! And Mother wonders why I hate her?" he made a rude gesture in midair.

"So why do you stick around?" Subaru asked, drumming his fingers on the armrest despite his efforts to be professional. "I mean, if Iizuka-san was really so mean to you, shouldn't you move on already?"

"You kidding me?" the ghost cried, flipping around in the air, "this is my chance! Mom can't do nothing to me now… I'm dead! I mean, I considered the whole afterlife thing already, but this is just as fun!"

"Well, um," Subaru said slowly, "Iizuka-san hired me to exorcize you, so…" he blinked. "How did you die, anyway?"

"My mom told me to move out," the ghost said sourly, "So I killed myself."

"Maybe you should have left, if you hated her so much…"

"Yeah right! I'd need a job and a house and I wouldn't get free food… and anyway, I'm already dead so there's no use in lecturing me, bro," the ghost said, looking down its transparent nose at Subaru.

"Well, um, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to exorcize you now… unless you'll move on willingly?" Subaru added hopefully. The ghost stuck its tongue out at him.

Subaru rolled his eyes. Some people just couldn't be reasoned with.

* * *

_After a long time of anger and hopelessness, Kakyo decided that it wouldn't do at all - he was unused to taking charge of things for himself, but it was becoming obvious that Hokuto couldn't (wouldn't) help herself - that if he wanted her to survive he would have to do something to save her, personally. The new future's path was less fixed then the old, less determined._

_Not that Kakyo doubted that he would find out what he needed to - he just was worried it would take too long. Eight years had turned to five, five was rapidly approaching four, and with the sakurazukamori back Kakyo worried it might not even have to be 1999 for Hokuto - for "Subaru" - to fall._

_He just didn't know what to do. The other Dream Seers were less then helpful at best and distracting at worst, and of course he had other things he had to do-such as, if he felt like eating that day, finding out the future of the clients his mother forced upon him._

_In desperation, he turned to the false future, watching blankly as Subaru-the real Subaru-killed the Sakurazukamori and became that himself, watch Hokuto cast her spell and die. He felt a slight twinge of resentment-Hokuto had killed herself to save her brother, but Subaru had cast no such spell. Kakyo knew he would do anything for Hokuto, and knew Hokuto would have done anything for her brother, but Subaru… well, there was no use in thinking about that. A stray thought-what would she do for me?-came and went. That was something else with no point to it, Hokuto right now was in no condition to worry about anyone but herself… not after what the sakurazukamori… _

_But the thought still nagged at him. They were friends, he knew that-he knew that he was the only one from her old life she still spoke with, and until six months ago they had spoken often, but… _

Leave me alone! I told you already! If you won't accept who I am, then I don't want you to keep harassing me!

_…But what did Hokuto feel? Kakyo frowned, growing impatient with the dreamscape before him. She still was Hokuto but at the same time… she wasn't. Not the same Hokuto, not the person who gave him an ocean and hopes that the future _hadn't _been decided after all. This Hokuto was broken and trying to fix herself as someone else, this Hokuto's dreams were filled with her dead brother and the sakurazukamori, this Hokuto…_

"This was all Hokuto's doing," _the false sakurazukamori says quietly, dying: _"This was her spell."

_Kakyo, feeling lost and oddly broken, woke up._

* * *

It was dark by the time Sumeragi was done, and Satoko watched him go with a slight frown, unable to quite place why he made her so uncomfortable and unwilling to admit he had done a good job in ridding her of Hiroshi at last. He set off on foot for the train station, but stopped to wave at her cheekily from the street corner. Satoko pursed her lips again, glad that her husband was still alive and living elsewhere - she'd hate to see that boy again.

The boy left a note on the couch for her - an invoice with a handwritten message scrawled on the bottom in oddly rounded print-_Hiroshi-san says that he wouldn't have done it if you hadn't kept buying him socks. He says he hopes you live a long, practically eternal life so that you'll stay apart and I hope you stay healthy and ghost free as well. _

…Satoko took note of the price and the address and crumbled up the note, feeling vaguely insulted by the whole thing. Honestly! She had _known_ this would be a bad idea from the _start_!

* * *


	5. Annex: Resolve

* * *

_uber beta reading credit to Sophia Prester, as usual!_

* * *

_Become (Annex - resolve)_

_Kyoto, 1984_

* * *

The first time someone had checked in on Subaru in the middle of the night to find him not in bed or in his room there had been a general, although short-lived and quiet, panic. Subaru had, of course, been found a few minutes later in Hokuto's room, the twins curled together in her bed and fast asleep. This happened several more times with less and less surprise, until eventually it was just assumed that if Subaru or Hokuto weren't in their own room at night, they were in their sibling's, and no further investigation would take place.

When Hokuto was ten years old, she realized this for herself.

"W-where are we going? Hokuto-chan!" Subaru said frantically, being pulled by his hand through the gardens that surrounded the estate, his fear tangible. "Hokuto-chan, we should be in bed. Grandmother will worry, and it's _dark_ out."

His last word caused Hokuto to stop running and turn around to face him. She drew herself to her full height and crossed her arms over her chest. "Don't tell me that you're afraid of the dark! That's just silly!"

Subaru looked around them. "No--o," he said slowly, "Not really…"

Hokuto put her hands on her hips, trying to look stern in her duck-print blue pajamas. "Subaru Sumeragi can't be afraid of the _dark_! You're _clan head_!"

Subaru fidgeted. "Well, why are we here anyway? We should be in bed. We'll get in trouble."

"No one will know!" Hokuto said brightly. "Don't worry about it!"

Subaru wasn't convinced. "Um, what are we doing?"

"_Yozakura_," Hokuto said proudly, each syllable carrying its own exclamation point and pride. "It's our duty as Japanese citizens!"

"…Night time cherry blossom viewing?" Subaru echoed doubtfully. "I don't know, Hokuto-chan. It's kinda early in the year for that."

"But tonight is the full moon!" Hokuto said brightly, taking Subaru's hand again. "It'll be beautiful and probably inspire us to be better people that write lots of poetry!"

Subaru frowned, but not the same worried frown as before - Hokuto was normally very well aware of his emotions and how to read them, but she had no name for this expression. "What's wrong?"

"Something," Subaru said unhelpfully, "About cherry blossoms."

Hokuto didn't like the expression on his face, something dark and upset, and she didn't like the way he - without seeming to notice - was squeezing her hand tighter and tighter. Even though it was nearing midnight, Subaru wore a pair of gloves with his pajamas - he had been doing so for a year now, but Hokuto was suddenly _aware_ of them, really aware. She didn't like it, although she wasn't sure what 'it' was.

"You're just worried that we'll get caught," she said flippantly, squeezing his hand back, "Don't worry! As soon as you see the cherry blossoms, you'll forget all about Grandmother and all the other grownups! Now, c'mon!"

They took off again; Subaru with some reluctance, and Hokuto led them in a twisted path through the gardens, over a bridge and in a wide circle before crossing it again, tiptoeing through a rock garden and running full out through a lawn. The cherry stand was on the far edge of the property, apart from the complex, and when they arrived, the moon was behind a thin cloud, the trees dark and instead of beautiful, foreboding. Cherry petals fell like light snow, and the night felt colder in the shadow.

"Isn't it pretty?" Hokuto said as loudly as she could manage without shouting. She let go of Subaru to sit on some cold, dewy grass, trying to ignore her tiredness and feeling that perhaps this wasn't such a good idea after all.

"…Yes," Subaru said slowly, gazing up at a tree and standing in place. His pajamas in light were white cotton, and in the dark he looked like a pale ghost--his eyes, Hokuto imagined, were mournful, and the cherry petals that fell around him fell sadly - they were only dead bits of plant after all, she thought suddenly, and shivered.

This wasn't a good idea at all.

His gloves were dark--black--and it almost looked like he didn't have hands at all. Hokuto remembered when he first started wearing them… it was after he and grandmother had taken a trip to Tokyo. He had come back, dazed and ill and wearing the gloves - no, Hokuto remembered suddenly, they weren't gloves yet. They were _bandages_, wrapped over the palms of his hands and she had thought he must have been hurt or cut and didn't believe him when he said he was fine. She had tried to undo the bandages but Grandmother had burst in and _screamed_ at her, and the adults had talked quietly for _weeks_ and Subaru had been blissfully unaware of everything…

"Hey, Subaru," Hokuto said, trying to force the odd thoughts and odder fear away, "Take off those icky gloves."

He was startled. "Hokuto-chan, Grandmother says I'm not allowed to take them off in front of people, ever."

Hokuto scoffed. "I'm not a people, I'm _Hokuto_. Why can't you take them off in front of me?"

Subaru looked unsure. "Grandmother said…"

"She's seen your hands, hasn't she? Well, I'm your sister. I'm way closer to you then she is, so… take off your gloves."

Subaru frowned, but began to take his left glove off, pulling at the fingers so the glove slowly slid upwards. "I don't know why I always have to wear them," Subaru confided, "Maybe it's something having to do with being an Onmyoji, huh?"

Hokuto stood up and walked closer to him, their foreheads almost touching with Subaru's hand in the center, feathery black hair mixing between them - the moon burst through the clouds, and the grove of trees suddenly glowed magically, purely--the glove slid off--the petals fell around them, in their hair--

Subaru watching, confused, as Hokuto suddenly recoiled, stepped backwards, shock in her eyes--feeling hurt, he looked down at the top of his hand, searching for something that shouldn't be there that would repel her like that… but there was nothing. "Hokuto-chan--" he started to say, feeling a sudden painful stab in his stomach--she was standing right there and nothing had happened, but he had never felt so far apart from her before--"Hokuto-chan, what's wrong?"

There was an odd light in her eyes, and she reached down to the ground, casting about a bit before picking up a stone. "I don't know what that is, but it's _wrong_," Hokuto said thinly, a high note in her voice, "And--and you shouldn't have it."

Subaru looked down at his unmarked skin again, feeling like he wanted to cry. "Hokuto-chan, I don't understand!"

The stone had a sharp edge, and she grabbed his wrist tightly, a fierce look in her eyes--she held his wrist so tight it hurt, and before he could protest she--

"Ouch! Hokuto-chan!" Subaru cried out, squirming and trying to pull away. She ground the sharp side of the stone against the top of his hand furiously, tearing at the skin and ignoring his cries of protest and holding his wrist so tightly that he couldn't pull free. "Please! Stop that! It hu--" Subaru was interrupted by blood--his blood, forming on the top of his hand where Hokuto was scratching--Subaru didn't like blood. At all. He felt faint, and tears came to his eyes. "Hokuto-chan!" He shouted, pulling away so suddenly and so strongly that he almost fell backwards.

Hokuto looked just as shocked as he was, and Subaru was dimly aware of her dropping the stone--dimly aware of the cherry blossoms falling, glowing in the moonlight, of the moon and stars themselves--and of the blood on his hand.

"Y-you don't see," Hokuto said faintly, and suddenly she looked like _she_ was going to cry, too. "You really don't see." But she still looked scared.

His glove had fallen to the ground, and Subaru picked it back up--all the while watching Hokuto, who stared at him with wide, tearful eyes. Once he put the glove on, shakily, Hokuto let out a sob and suddenly she was hugging him and they were both crying together, crying until Grandmother showed up--frantic and talking of a spell--and the clouds went back behind the moon.

* * *

"Grandmother, what are they?" Hokuto asked quietly one morning, appearing suddenly in the study, unusually subdued. She glanced up from her books at Hokuto, mildly surprised.

"History. Accounts of the Sumeragi clan's doings from about a hundred years ago. Hokuto-san, why--"

"Not the books," Hokuto said, a touch of impatience in her voice. Hokuto glanced down at her hands, and she did too - _marks_. There was a moment of panic, blind fear, before she realized they weren't _the_ marks but sloppily drawn stars in blue marker, nevertheless exactly like…

She frowned, remembering that night a week ago. She knew it would happen eventually - but still. She was lucky that she had put warning spells on them, lucky the twins had been found in time, before anyone else saw the marks--or anyone else _felt_ them.

"Hokuto-san…"

"I tried to tell Subaru," Hokuto said quietly, "But he can't see them, and when I tell them they're there he doesn't understand and doesn't listen, so I tried to get rid of them with a rock but it didn't work at all. So I put them on my hands to show him what they look like, but Subaru forgets about them as soon as he sees them. I think he doesn't even notice them. What are they?"

"Hokuto-san," she said again, slower to delay having to say anything _else_. She considered for a brief moment telling Hokuto--telling anyone, really--the Sakurazukamori, the Marks and the fate that surely awaited Subaru… but of course she couldn't.

"They're bad, though," Hokuto guessed, eyes narrowed slightly.

"Yes."

"Will they ever go away?"

She didn't know, not that such a thing could be told to a ten-year-old girl. It would have been easy to lie, say yes and hope that Hokuto forgot--but… Hokuto was the elder twin by a little over twenty minutes, but she might as well have been years older. She had learned to speak first, walk first, and had always--_always _spoken for Subaru, acted for Subaru. It had been a surprise to everyone when Subaru had turned out to be the one with latent magical powers and Hokuto to be the one with hardly any, and it was even now easy to forget that she was in fact the _weaker_, magically, of the two.

Hokuto always took care of Subaru…

"No, they won't," she answered finally. "They're a magical spell that will let a certain… man… find Subaru-san and then… hurt Subaru-san. He has to wear the gloves, because the gloves will prevent the spell from working."

Hokuto was oddly expressionless. Feeling tired, she continued. "You… you are Subaru-san's elder sister, that's why I'm telling this to you. You and Subaru-san will always be together, I think, so you need to protect him because Subaru doesn't know the danger. You need to keep him safe--protect him from the man."

"Because he'll die?" Hokuto asked, looking too old suddenly--but it was too late to take back her words now, too late to pretend this conversation had never happened.

"Yes."

"Then I'll make sure he doesn't die," Hokuto said firmly, arms crossed over her chest, "I'll definitely make sure Subaru doesn't die, even if…"

Hokuto frowned suddenly and didn't finish her sentence, turning the idea around in her head before nodding to herself once, resolved.

"Even if that means _I_ have to die," Hokuto finished quietly, seriously, ten years oldand not even five feet tall, small and skinny, not knowing enough kanji to read the newspaper in the mornings and prepared and willing to die.

She felt ill, partially because she knew it was what she had wanted.

* * *


	6. Tokyo

* * *

_Thanks very much to Sophia Prester for another superb beta-reading job! The story's grammar thanks you!_

_It has occured to me that I use a few casual words of Japanese in this chapter--nothing I find beyond basic terms, but just in case I thought I'd define them: "oneechan" is "big sister," but it can and is used as well on girls to mean "miss." The suffix -ku indicates a ward, an area of a city (in this case, Tokyo). So Shinjuku becomes Shinjuku-ku, and so on. Finally, the word "sensei" means "teacher," but it can also mean doctor.

* * *

_

_Become Chapter Six: Tokyo_

* * *

_Shun. Takumi times two. Misaki times three. Aoi. Ai. Yuka times two. Kenta. Kaito. Ren times two. Yuu. Megumi. Yuzuko. Kana. Mai. _

After a while, the downsides of working as what could more or less be called a Baby Name Register became apparent, mostly in that Yuuto could pick out the ages of half the children in Tokyo based on the popularity of their names in a given year. There were no favorite names for him--although his own name and a few others would merit a raised eyebrow--but they became a mantra in themselves, names upon names upon names. Yuuto probably knew every single kanji combination for the name Keiko, which he thought said something both significant and depressing.

It was tempting, sometimes--and to tell the truth it was a good enough trick that he _did_ use it--to analyze the names of his dates. Names like Midori were boring, but more then once he had been able to amaze someone by guessing the kanji and exact meaning of their name, not due to a trick but simply having seen it ten thousand times before--Yuuto wasn't a firm believer in uniqueness.

_Hiroshi, Hiro, Hiroko. Amaya, Ayana, Midori, Takeshi, Takahashi, Keiko, Keichi, Keiichi, Yukiko, Sachiko. Chizuru, Kenji, Shinji, Ryoichi. Kazuko, Kazuma, Shouta. Aiko, Yuko, Tomoko… Tomoe._

Of course, after a while the names just became a blur in his head, and Yuuto would go on autopilot: congratulations-about-the-baby. Thank-you-for-coming. I'm-sorry-that-kanji-is-unacceptable. I-think-that-is-a-lovely-name. And so on, until Yuuto thought so little during work hours that he'd sometime wake up in the middle of the night to a silent chorus of names, names, names (_Satokosatoshiakiraakikosoranonaoki) _and it was always hard to explain to his girlfriends when he accidentally called them by another name--harder when that name was a boy's.

Sometimes Yuuto thought that his number one reason for joining the Dragons of Earth was simply to stop people from naming their children.

Stretching, and shaking his head in a vague attempt to dislodge any stray names, Yuuto stood up from his desk to take a well-deserved lunch break. Early spring was, to him at least, one of the least pleasant times of the year. Sure, it was nice that the weather was finally warming up after winter, but the cherry trees were bringing in the tourists (always annoying), and everything was just too dead and too muddy and too cold to be pretty to be bothered with. Also, it was the _busiest_ time of year at Yuuto's work, what with all the babies being born and couples marrying, and extra work never made him all that happy.

_Well,_ Yuuto thought cheerfully, peering into the window of a McDonalds before deciding it wasn't to his taste, _At least it is 1999. If that isn't an excuse not to work, nothing is._

It was a strange thought, however, one he wasn't entirely sure he liked. He had long since adjusted to the fact that there _would_ be a fight and there _would_ be a Kamui and there _would_ be a good deal of destruction in this city this year. He had even gotten used to the idea that he would be _causing_ much of this destruction.

Yuuto continued his walk, passing a small park crowded with small children and their tired mothers. Even though he knew all of the things about the Seals and Harbingers, Dragons and Kamuis were true, it just didn't seem real in comparison to _this_--to the kids running around and the cherry trees starting to bloom and the people with cell phones and the girl talking to a large dog in the middle of the sidewalk…

Yuuto processed that last thought, frowning.

The girl was probably in middle school, judging by her green school uniform, and had short black hair that went just past her ears in length. She carried with her, however, a large faded blue duffle bag, and a lumpy suitcase rested on the ground beside her. The dog looked more like a wolf then something domesticated, and something about it seemed… transparent? No, it was there, but somehow Yuuto thought it wasn't. The girl was talking to it in a rather cheerfully nervous tone as she looked around wildly.

"Well, I _know_ we should ask for directions, it's just that I'm sure that we're not really lost, y'know? I mean, we've been in Tokyo for less then an hour! What would Grandma say if she knew I had gotten lost _already_? Oh, I know what she'd say: 'Yuzuriha, didn't I tell you that you have a lousy sense of direction? Didn't I tell you that if you didn't get a guide you'd be lost in five minutes?' Y'know, for an old lady she can sure act like a kid sometimes, huh? Real know-it-all. But I'm _positive_ we aren't lost, we'll just get our bearings and then find the Diet Building, and everything will be just peachy again!" She at _last_ stopped to take a breath, and Yuuto--who had been cheerfully eavesdropping--felt reminded slightly of Tomoe-chan, who was also prone to rambling on.

He had been hiding his listening in by stopping to smoke a cigarette--Yuuto wasn't a heavy smoker, but he did on occasion partake--and as he finished the cigarette he heard a passing child (holding hands with his passing mother) ask why the oneechan was talking to herself.

Curious and curiouser, Yuuto thought idly. The dog was _big_, and didn't kids love animals?

The girl--she had referred to herself as Yuzuriha?--was talking again. "Ooh, I _know_ we should ask someone, so you don't have to keep telling me! It's just that I'm _sure_ Grandma would find out, 'cause she always does, and… I'm sure we'll come into a more recognizeable part of the city soon!" she paused as if listening. "Well, the suitcases are _heavy_. I have a year's worth of stuff in there, Y'know! So, we can get our bearings while I rest. Y'know, it would be nice if you could transform into a luggage cart," she added hopefully. The dog lowered its ears in reply.

Yuuto was reminded even more strongly of Tomoe when the girl stuck her tongue out at the dog--his sister did weird things like that, too, not to mention their shared ability to stretch what ought to have been a short sentence into a full paragraph. He let the cigarette butt drop to the ground and walked over to her.

"You said you wanted to get to the Diet Building?" he asked casually. The girl jumped.

"How did you know? Oh no! Was I that loud?" the girl said suddenly, looking slightly distressed. "I'm sorry! My name," she added with a quick bow that startled Yuuto slightly, "is Yuzuriha Nekoi! I'm pleased to meet you!" she grinned up at him.

Yuuto blinked. "I… you do know that the Diet building is in Chiyoda-ku, right?"

Nekoi nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! But we--I've--been having trouble finding any _signs_, so…" she paused. "This isn't Chiyoda-ku?"

"This is Shibuya-ku," Yuuto said slowly. It was probably too late to walk away now, he realized. "I'll… help you out, okay?"

"Is it really no trouble?" Nekoi asked, her eyes mysteriously becoming large and shiny.

"None at all!" Yuuto replied, trying to sound bright. Sure, she was a lot like Tomoe-chan, but Yuuto had forgotten that even his sister could get very annoying very quickly. "You and your dog can just follow me, and--"

He didn't get any farther, as Nekoi gasped (and the dog, who had been sitting in what Yuuto thought was a somewhat bored manner, looked up at him).

"By dog, do you mean that you see a dog, by who I mean Inuki, sitting right here?" Yuzuriha asked quickly, pointing at the creature in question.

"Yes?" Yuuto replied, slightly bemused. He didn't get to say anything else, as a moment later the girl had tackled him in a hug so strong she practically knocked both of them over.

* * *

"Releasing water in five… four…"

"Pulse is regular. Oxygen is regular."

"Computers working--computer three showing high levels of--"

"Chemical readout is printing--"

"Three… two…"

"Breathing regular--"

"Regaining conscious."

"One…"

_Where_

"Pulse is high. Oxygen is low."

"Stabilize it!"

"Chemical levels normal. Brainwaves--"

"Breathing on its own--"

_am I?_

"Oxygen is regular! Pulse is slowing--"

"--Normal, computer monitoring programs are recording--"

It opened its eyes and could see nothing--but it did not know whether there should be something to see, so it felt no fear. After a short while, it did begin to see things--vague, blurry shapes. The buzz of sound around it cleared, too, so that it could understand words and make out different voices.

It realized suddenly that it could move, and did so--first an arm, then another, then a hesitant step that sent it nearly falling over. Its vision cleared a little more, but everything was still blurred. It tried taking another step, slower, and didn't lose its balance.

"Fascinating…" someone with a high voice said for behind it.

"We've succeeded!" someone else, with a very low voice, added loudly.

"Ka…zuki?" a third person said, voice low and quiet and scratchy. It turned in the direction it thought the voice came from (_who is Kazuki is me_) and could see a blurry short person wearing gray and white.

"Doctor?" High-voice said, voice going high up at the end of the word.

Scratchy-voice (it found it easiest to tell things by sound, as its vision had stopped improving) moved its head, blurry blurry. "No, nothing. A slip of the tongue. Begin the tests--we need to make sure it is fully functional."

"Of course, doctor," Low-voice said.

But before anything happened Scratchy-voice spoke to it again. "Do you understand me? Nod your head if you do."

It did understand, but wasn't sure what nodding was, so it stood there. It discovered that its eyes were feeling itchy and dry, and discovered that closing them briefly--even for a second--helped, so it did so several times.

"To nod," Scratchy-voice explained, "Is to move your head up and then down." It nodded, then, feeling like it understood. "To close your eyes for a second is to blink--you need to blink for your eyes to stay healthy." Another mystery was solved! It felt pleased.

"It seems like we have a lot to do," High-voice said quietly.

There was. It had to get its eyes tested--and its ears--and even its tongue--and it had to have a thousand things explained to it, and it was asked several times to speak. It understood what was being said, but it didn't know if it could make the sounds itself--when it tried to repeat a sentence, it came back mangled and scratchy and messy, and water came to its eyes at the sound.

"Vocal cords obviously need work," High-voice (who it learned was named Shimizusensei) had remarked. Low voice (who was called Tanakasensei) had asked it lots of questions that relied on its nodding its head for yes and (a new one!) moving it to the side for no. It didn't see the purpose to the questions--things like is this thing blue? Is this person in the mirror me? How many fingers is three?--and Tanakasensei had eventually stated to Scratchy-voice (who was named Toujousensei) that it had the expected intelligence for what it was.

This made it feel happy! It was glad that it was doing well.

"What are you going to call it?" Shimizusensei asked Toujousensei. It was curious as to what it was named, too, but Toujousensei had brought his eyebrows close together and said that the testing was over for the day. They helped it back to the tube it had been in before--it _still_ couldn't see very clearly, but it supposed that the three of them together could see enough not to fall--and although it had wanted to play more nod-shake games the tube quickly filled back with the water and it fell asleep.

* * *

Kaori adjusted her glasses, feeling weary as they watched the creature fall back asleep. "I had expected this whole process to be more scientific, not like babysitting," she complained.

"This is a new field!" Susumu replied, sounding far more cheerful. "We don't know what will happen, but look at this! A true human--mostly--with intelligence and self awareness!"

"It is _not_ a human," Doctor Toujou snapped. "It is a soulless, artificial creature. We've known for years now that it isn't human--that it wouldn't be human. It is a genderless, emotionless, living _doll_."

Kaori wasn't one for the metaphysical. "Whatever it is, it also has extremely poor sight, although its hearing is above average."

"Well, it's albino, isn't it?" Susumu said thoughtfully, brushing back a strand of his hair--he was tired, too. "White hair, white skin, pale eyes--poor sight is another hallmark of being an albino." He chuckled. "Of course, the idea of our great scientific breakthrough needing thick glasses is somewhat disappointing. Maybe we should invest in contacts."

Kaori hesitated. "Doctor, about your grandchild… was she an albino?"

"Of course not," Toujou snapped. "What an idiotic thing to suggest. This creature may use my son's and granddaughter's genes, but it is not either of them. It will never _be_ either of them--they are dead, and this creature is nothing but a… a _science project_." He stormed from the room at that, leaving his assistants to glace at each other.

"You might have hit a bruise," Susumu said lowly.

Kaori smiled thinly. "Remember when it _was_ about bringing the girl back to life? I wonder sometimes what Masaki-san's widow thinks."

"Hmm," Susumu replied, glancing towards the creature--fast asleep by now, partially because its body must have been exhausted from the continued effort but mostly due to the drugs in the water. "It has its deformities, but it is still a beautiful achievement, don't you agree?"

_what is_

"It is amazing that all of our hard work paid off," Kaori allowed, grudgingly. "I wouldn't get attached to it, though. Doctor's grudge aside, it _isn't_ a human, and I doubt science alone will keep it alive long."

"Try to be more optimistic!" Susumu said cheerfully. "We've just done a fantastically great thing! Tell you what," he added, clasping a hand on her shoulder, "I'll treat you to some dinner to celebrate--anywhere you want, assuming you want something cheap."

This time Kaori smiled for real. "Ahh, so I suppose we'll be going to our usual ramen cart?" she asked, teasing, letting him lead her to the door.

_what is a soul?_

* * *


	7. Thunder

* * *

_Thanks very much to Sophia Prester for beta reading and helping this chapter!_

* * *

_Become (chapter seven - Thunder)_

* * *

Sitting in class, Fuuma wished it would rain. There was nothing wrong with the weather now--on the contrary, the weather was so perfect it almost _hurt_. The sun was warm and welcomingly bright after winter, the dirty piles of snow were gone and everywhere you looked--assuming you looked hard enough, which Fuuma did--you could see flowers starting to sprout and bloom, grass starting to green and birds starting to return. He _liked_ this weather. He just wished for a storm.

He knew it was the wrong time of year for the sort of rain he had in mind--not the drizzles and dripping of spring, but the crashing thunder-and-lightning shows of late summer, that made you feel cozy indoors even if indoors was a doctor's office or a classroom. Sheets of rain that fell for days, no wind, puddles that were more like streams in the streets--_warm_ rain that you wouldn't mind getting soaked in, that deep down made you want to pull on some rubber boots--the good bright-yellow plastic kind--and splash outside in. _Real_ rain.

Bursts of thunder would be a good excuse for distraction, he figured, and less embarrassing then admitting to the teacher that his mind had been wandering during class--as, he half heartedly realized--he was doing right now. Fuuma hadn't been sleeping very well lately--he'd been sleeping, but somehow never seemed rested enough, which he credited to worries about the upcoming end of the school year and other such stress. It _had_ to be stress--Fuuma had never had any troubles paying attention before this yea--

"Monou-kun," Ms. Ito said suddenly, startling him, "Can I take your lack of attention to the lesson a sign of your expertise in this new algebra formula? Yes?" she added, despite Fuuma's not having said anything, "Well, I'm very proud of you! Why don't you show your classmates the proper way to solve for 'n' up on the board… questions ten through eighteen shouldn't be a problem for _you_."

The other students snickered--Fuuma remembered a time when _he_ was the one laughing at the poor daydreaming fool--and he was in the middle of walking to the front of the room and thanking any and all gods out there math was one of his better subjects when he fainted.

* * *

Three years ago, Den's father had died, leaving him parentless and the sole heir to the family's not insignificant finances and properties. He wasn't one to linger too long on the past, or feel particularly guilty for spending the money on trivialities, so he soon found himself living in a new, elegant apartment building in Shinjuku. It was ritzier then most, which made Den (at age twenty-eight) the youngest there--until about a year ago.

Sumeragi couldn't be more then twenty-five, a skinny-pale young man. Den thought he was a pretty weird guy, personally, but their closeness in age made him willing to strike up a friendship. Sumeragi, however, had avoided him in a manner that made it seem like he didn't even _notice_ Den (which, considering the way the guy withdrew into himself, didn't seem all that unlikely). Of course, this was something Den considered rude, so when he looked out the kitchen window and saw Sumeragi taking out the trash, he saw nothing wrong with spying. And, when the other man appeared and they started talking, Den had no qualms with listening in, either. Since his kitchen was right above the alley, anyway, he sat down by the window.

"What are you doing here?" Sumeragi asked, sounding tired. There was a clang as he put his trash in the dumpster. "If you wanted to visit, my apartment--"

"Ah, but I was here anyway on business," the man replied, his tone oddly casual--not informal, but relaxed, quietly cheerful and slightly arrogant.

"In the alley?" Morbid curiosity.

"Young woman, about your age. Called for someone named Masao-kun as…" a chuckle. "Hokuto-chan, you look so green. It doesn't match your eyes well."

"Don't call me that!" Anger. "I told you before, it's rude, and disrespectful--"

"You never minded before."

"It's disrespectful to use the names of the dead so informally!" Sumeragi snapped. "I don't want to hear you say her name, ever--"

"My, my. You're still stuck on that, aren't you?"

Silence. A minute later, a soft, suppressed, pained cry. Den felt distinctly uncomfortable, but couldn't tear himself away.

"Sei--shiro-san… S-stop!"

"See? You _aren't_ Subaru-kun at all," he said brightly. Something hit the edge of the dumpster with a clang. "Hokuto-chan, you really need to stop pretending to be a boy. It's not mentally healthy, and it wouldn't do for you to--"

_Pretending?_ Den thought vaguely. His glass was overflowing by now with water, and he turned off the faucet. Now that he thought about it, he didn't even know Sumeragi's first name… but he didn't look like a girl, did he? Den's thoughts were interrupted by Sumeragi yelling.

"Shut up!" His voice was shrill. "Shut up! Go away!"

A loud, exaggerated sigh. A muffled cry of pain. "Now, now, we've spoken about this. I'm courteous to you, so you can be polite to me, Hokuto-chan."

"I don't want to see you! I want to forget about--all of this! You killed her, so just--leave me alone! Let me be alone! I hate y… I hate this!"

The man tsked. "Hokuto-chan is the one who wanted to see me more, remember? You're the one who wanted me to be around."

"No! Not like this!" His voice was shriller, louder... higher? "Let go of me! I--I wanted something else than this, I changed my mind! Go away! Leave! Let me go!"

"My," the man said, and this time his voice was almost too quiet to hear, but Den had almost stopped breathing to hear better, "My, my Hokuto-chan. You really think I'll just leave, and that your life will become flowers and rainbows? Who else cares for you in this world--your grandmother dressed you like this, you have no friends, and your dear twin--whoever you think the dead one is--is safe inside my Tree. Without me, you _will_ be alone. You should be glad I stay here, especially when I don't have to--"

A whimper--

"--Especially in this _year_, and yet I take so much time to _see_ you--"

Every time the man emphasized a word, Sumeragi whimpered in pain again--Den wanted to see, but oh he _didn't_ want to see, whatever was going on here was _far_ over his head and he wanted it to stay that way.

"--So you could be a little more _polite_ about it, since I'm only doing what you _asked_ me to do--"

"I'm sorry," Sumeragi mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry," he repeated, louder. Something thudded against the dumpster again.

"Now," the man said, sounding cheerful, "I'm a little hungry, aren't you?" he chuckled. "I know you don't like me to bring up my work, but I will say that it really works up your appetite."

Den found himself wondering what exactly the man meant by 'work.' He had lost his appetite, even for water, and placed the glass on the counter. How could a guy… do whatever he did, and then just turn around and go eat at a restaurant? What was _wrong _with him?

"T-there's a good café a few blocks from here," Sumeragi said at last, his voice still higher then it should have been. "It's fairly inexpensive."

Den felt even more confused by this (had or hadn't Sumeragi just been thrown against a dumpster? How could he be interested in a meal with this man, how could he not want to run away?) then he had been by 'Seishiro-san's' words.

"Wonderful! I'll treat us both to a nice… oh, I suppose it is too late for lunch, so we'll call it an early dinner. Are you ready to go?"

"I… could use an ice-pack." A pause. "I have one in my apartment. I'll be right back."

Den could see the stairwell from his front door, and hurried to it. Sumeragi passed, looking rumpled, and a few minutes later he passed again, holding an ice pack wrapped in a paper towel to his wrist. Even through the pack, Den could see the rapidly forming bruises, and from the way Sumeragi held his hand Den wondered if it was _broken_, too.

His staring must have been rather obvious, as Sumeragi paused and _glared_. "No one loves an eavesdropper," He said thinly, his voice still too high.

Den hesitated--it was very unlike him, but he was _shaken_ by whatever he had just witnessed. "Who's Hokuto-chan?" he asked before thinking.

Sumeragi looked like he had been slapped. He tried to use his hurt hand to reach into his pocket (for what, Den didn't know, but judging by his expression he expected a knife or something), winced in pain and dropped the ice--his wrist was purple and yellow and red, hideous and obviously more then just the result of someone holding it too tightly.

The man, downstairs and outside, called Sumeragi suddenly. "Are you coming? I'm not waiting much longer, Subaru!"

Sumeragi's expression slid from angry to something almost _happy_ in the space of a second, and he forgot the ice and Den completely in his hurrying down the stairs.

Not knowing what else to do, Den picked up the icepack and put it in his freezer.

* * *

_Fuuma was vaguely and distantly aware that he was dreaming, so he didn't feel very alarmed when he found himself in the jungle--the Amazon rain forest, in fact, which he knew only because that was the only jungle he knew of. The trees were a bright, sharp green, and the trunks a uniform solid brown--there was very little on the ground besides lush green grass, and the entire place looked like it had been colored and drawn with markers._

_A white bird sat on a branch, and it spoke to him in perfect Japanese--of course. Fuuma wouldn't have expected anything less. _Six to go_! It squawked, _six to go! _Then it flew off into the trees. Fuuma knew he was supposed to follow it, so he--_

* * *

"We--ll," the nurse said brightly, "You're fine."

Fuuma sat up in the cot, rubbing his eyes. "I _fainted_."

"Yeah, but you're fine," the nurse repeated, smiling. "That is to say, I can find absolutely nothing wrong with you--well, you've got a cut on your forehead, but it's healing over and endearing."

"En…dearing?" Fuuma blinked, and swung his legs over the side of the cot. He had never actually been to the nurse's office in his two years of high school, and was finding himself slightly glad of this. The only nurse seemed to be a slight basket-case, although she was a rather pretty young woman--she seemed familiar, actually… something about her wavy hair, maybe.

"My official diagnosis is simply 'you need more sleep,'" the nurse said kindly. "You're Kotori-chan's older brother, right? You just need to take it easy… relax. Don't push yourself. Even though you're a responsible boy, you're still just a boy, so it's fine to take a break from cooking and school and running your family to do something silly sometimes. I recommend 'Tetris.'"

"Te-terisu?" Fuuma was starting to feel confused. He stood up, carefully, but felt fine… which wasn't much of a reassurance, as he had felt fine before, too. "You know my sister?" That was a stupid question, he realized at once. Kotori was healthier then she had been when she was younger, but she was still well acquainted with doctors and medicine.

"Oh, me and Kotori-chan are great friends, or we would be if I wasn't always trying to make her take nasty medicine. She talks about you a lot," she said brightly. "Speaking of which--the cute girl, not the smelly pills--she's gone home already. I assured her you'd be fine, but you were out cold and looked tired, so we decided to let you rest. She's probably worried about you, so I'd scurry home quick."

Fuuma started to ask the time, but saw a clock on the wall behind the nurse--it was nearly six... Which meant that he had been out for four hours already… He must have looked pained, because the nurse started laughing. "Don't worry, don't worry! I'm the nurse here, remember? I just made up some medicine illness mumbo-jumbo, and your teachers were happy to let you sleep. And give you lots of nice make-up work to do… I stuck it in your backpack for you."

"…Thanks," Fuuma said slowly, the word coming out more as a question then anything else. There was nothing else _to_ say (and he didn't really want to speak with the slightly-insane nurse more then he had to), so he simply picked up his backpack, ran a hand through his bangs to try and neaten them, and walked out the door.

Nurse Tokiko Magami looked over at the boy's retreating back, and then back at the paper she was filling out--a standard form for all of her patients, just the basics: name, age, class, affliction… _Fuuma Monou_, _Togakushi Shrine_…

Togakushi…

Tokiko felt something like dread press down upon her.

Fuuma Monou…

Had he ever wondered what his name meant? Had he ever thought it was oddly written, oddly meant? The first character meant "seal," and the second meant "true…" Surely he had realized there was more to his name then… then what?

Tokiko frowned out the window at the sunset.

* * *

_If you were the one with the choice, he asked Fuuma, if you were the one with the possibility, what would you choose? Do you-- _

* * *

There was a girl outside the school gates. Which wasn't terribly odd in and of itself, except for the fact that her uniform was different then the schools and that Fuuma was sure he had never seen her before--she wasn't the kind of girl that blended into a crowd.

Straight black hair, a rather pretty face--actually, all of her was rather pretty, although the school uniform didn't suit her. Fuuma thought somehow she'd be even better looking in a kimono--the way she looked, her height and everything else about her all seemed almost too traditionally beautiful for leaning against a concrete wall at dusk in the middle of Tokyo.

Of course, the half annoyed, half jaded look on her face fit right in.

"What," she said coolly, "Are you staring at?"

"What," Fuuma replied, just as coolly, "Are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same. School ended several hours ago."

"So why are you still here?" Fuuma said. "After all, school is over. If you're planning on transferring in, you're a little late."

"I do wonder what kind of student needs to stay and study until it is nearly dark," she retorted.

Fuuma glared at her. She stared back at him, not the least bit intimidated. She closed her eyes briefly, considering. "You attend this high-school, right? Do you know of a student living at the 'Togakushi Shrine?'"

"What… who are you?" Fuuma asked, thrown for a bit of a loop.

She looked up at him with cloud gray eyes, and her mouth flickered in what might have been a smile. "Arashi."

* * *

_--what would you choose? Do you regret it?_

* * *


	8. Start

* * *

_Thanks to **Sophia Prester **for excellent and prompt beta reading, it was my laziness to take her good advice that took this chapter so long. Thanks also to **Tako **for repeated and patient endurance of Japan Culture Bugging--without you, my favorite line in this chapter would be gone! Thanks also for Yuzuriha's nickname it's just so cute!_

* * *

_Become (chapter eight - Start)_

* * *

Fuuma had decided that he liked Arashi. This was a conclusion he had reached almost too quickly, considering her habit of saying in very polite terms exactly how low her opinion of him was, but despite her unfriendliness there seemed to be something… more to her. Like despite her annoyed attitude and too-polite insults, she wasn't really mad at all, she was enjoying herself.

The fact that she was in fact _very_ pretty was something Fuuma both tried to ignore and didn't let himself forget.

He had gathered, by guessing at the things she said, that Arashi knew Kamui, didn't know where he was, and was looking for him along with a friend of hers, Saiki-san. She knew that Kamui had once been friends with those living at the Togakushi Shrine, and so had hoped to find them in case Kamui sought them out. How and why she knew Kamui was back in Tokyo was still a mystery, as were the questions of _how_ she knew him and _why_ she was looking for him.

Fuuma had invited her home with him. After all, it was only polite…

They had set off from the school, side by side, with Fuuma walking his bike between them. It would be faster to ride, with Arashi on the back, but he felt oddly shy about asking her to do that. Besides, for balance she'd have to… Fuuma forced himself to stop thinking about it, almost blushing despite himself. How annoying. He _never_ acted this stupidly.

_Kamui_… Fuuma almost smiled. _That_ was an old thought, right there. When he and Kotori were younger, Kamui had been their best friend, almost like a cousin or brother. The three of them had done everything together, and the few times that Kamui wasn't with both of them he was sure to be found with one of them. Their mothers had been best friends in high school, so even Aunt Tohru was always at the shrine. Of course, Kamui had moved away six years ago--Fuuma didn't even know where to. He and Aunt Tohru had just vanished without a word, letter, or phone call… right after Mother had gotten sick… Well, Father had said that Aunt Tohru was upset, and Fuuma understood that you'd be sad after your best friend died, but to just _leave_ like that…

Fuuma hadn't thought properly about Kamui in years. Everyone forgot old friends when they got older, and Fuuma didn't like to think much about the things surrounding his mother's death, anyway. Kotori still talked about Kamui sometimes (hadn't she said something this morning? About a dream?), but listening to her wasn't the same as remembering him for himself. Things changed as you got older, that was all. Fuuma had liked Kamui well enough, but was he really expected to reminisce about his childhood friends every day?

_Returning to Tokyo, huh? _Fuuma frowned, suddenly, glancing down at Arashi. Who was she, to know about Kamui's return before he or his family did? Even if Kamui wasn't interested in being friends anymore, Aunt Tohru still could've written a letter or something… it was the polite thing to do. So how could this Arashi know all of this, and Fuuma not?

"Are you and Kamui friends?" Fuuma asked, after Arashi looked over at him, a single eyebrow raised and her expression cool.

"I've never met him," she replied simply, looking back to the road. "I think the best way to put it is that I've always _wanted_ to meet him, and this year I have a chance to."

"Then--how do you know he'll even be here?"

Another glance. "I _don't_. I thought I told you, I don't know where he is. That's why I'm with you."

"You said he'd be coming to Tokyo," Fuuma said, frowning.

She nodded. "Sometime in the next few days. I don't know exactly when, or where, he'll arrive. That's why Saiki-san and I thought it would be a good idea to find _you_, and your family. We think he might go to the Togakushi Shrine at some point."

"I haven't spoken to him in six years. Why would--"

"Kishuu-san!"

Arashi turned around, completely ignoring Fuuma. He turned, too, still holding his bike. A guy probably a little older then Fuuma and wearing a black school uniform was running up to them, waving an arm above his head to get Arashi's attention.

"Kishuu-san, I've found him--"

"What?" Arashi said, sounding surprised. The guy, now right in front of them, stopped and caught his breath. He nodded.

"Train station. He--doesn't look how I'd have thought Kamui would look--but there's no doubting it. Even _I_ could feel that it was him." He glanced over at Fuuma. "Who's that?"

"Fuuma Monou-san," Arashi said impatiently. "Of the Togakushi Shrine. Don't tell me that you just _left_ Kamui there?"

The blond, who Fuuma was guessing was Saiki-san, looked uncomfortable. "I was about to approach him, but a whole bunch of…" he glanced at Fuuma, "A whole bunch of you-know-whats appeared."

Arashi looked mildly amused. "Curse Zombies?"

Saiki blushed faintly, nodding. "Anyway, Kamui just--he kinda waved his arm--and there was an explosion--and they were all gone. But he wasn't in a kekkai or _anything_--half the street was gone. Lucky that it's dinnertime and not many people were around--I don't think anyone was really hurt--but I thought I should get you. He's…"

"Violent," Arashi said, frowning.

Saiki looked over at Fuuma, and gave a short bow. "I'm Daisuke Saiki. Pleased to meet you." Fuuma stared back at him. _Blew up a train station? Violent? Kamui?_ Something wasn't quite right here, and while Fuuma could easily answer what the problem was, that didn't seem to be all there was to it. _Explosion_... Saiki stared back at Fuuma, looking slightly confused. Fuuma looked away, at Arashi, who looked thoughtful.

"Let's go," Arashi said suddenly, mouth thin.

"Wait a second!" Fuuma snapped. They looked over at him, identical expressions of impatience on their faces. "This is--Kamui, right? Who are you people? Kamui can't make things explode or anything weird like that…"

"Yes he can," Saiki said, almost childishly. Fuuma glared at him.

Arashi closed her eyes briefly. "Kamui is… more then the child you were friends with." She looked at him, then his bike, then at Saiki. "How far away is it?"

"A little ways--not far if we hurry."

Arashi nodded. "Monou-san, please ride your bike and follow us." To Saiki's questioning look she replied, "It might be a good idea. Monou-san is Kamui's childhood friend."

Fuuma didn't have time to wonder about anything, really, as a moment later the two of them were running--and jumping from building to building--faster and farther then Fuuma thought was even possible. Even riding as fast as he could, he still lagged behind them--_what the _hell _is going on here?_ He thought angrily. Nothing was making any sense, and no one seemed to care to explain to him what was happening… or _how_ it was happening. Explosions… people jumping from building to building, faster then a bike… Kamui…

Fuuma was suddenly struck with the urge to swear. Loudly.

* * *

_--It wasn't like the bird was waiting for Fuuma as he followed it through the jungle, just that it flew slower then it should have so that he could keep up, its feathers blindingly white against the green. The jungle all looked the same, like after a few feet it had started to repeat itself, but the farther Fuuma went the more appeared. First, dark green vines wrapped around the tree trunks--then birds began to call in the distance, aided by the occasional monkey's screech. Orchids the size of Fuuma's head appeared, grew, and blossomed in a second--bright bursts of color and thick sweet smells. He didn't stop to look at any of it, just followed the bird._

_They were approaching water, Fuuma realized suddenly, hearing the familiar trickles and splashes, and smelling the salt of the ocean mixed with the rainforest. We're almost there, he thought, clearly, and started to run faster--_

* * *

The police were already at the train station, and had blocked off one area of it--the ground there was ripped and torn, half of a car smoking and a few electric wires sparking around dangerously. The crater was about a meter deep at its lowest, Fuuma supposed, propping his bike against the bike rack and trying to catch his breath, but how could someone--how could _Kamui_…

The real problem was, Fuuma thought bitterly, that he was believing it all so quickly. Even though he knew he shouldn't, even though it made no sense, even though he know nothing about Arashi or Saiki… he believed them when they said that Kamui was back in Tokyo and had blown a crater in the middle of a train station. But even so, how could Kamui know how to do these things? How could Kamui have changed so much? Fuuma wondered briefly if perhaps Arashi and Saiki were thinking of a _different_ Kamui, but the odds seemed against him.

"He's not here," Saiki said slowly. "I asked one of the cops, but they're not feeling very helpful."

"Then where--" Arashi snapped--or, started to snap, before going over to a policeman. Fuuma was behind the policeman, so he saw Arashi's expression slide from annoyed to… _pretty_ in all of a second. Her frown vanished, her eyes widened, and she looked up at him demurely.

"Excuse me, mister," she said softly. _Sweetly_. Fuuma didn't know her well, but he knew that she wasn't this. Had he a sense of humor, he'd have laughed. "I--" Arashi continued, "I lost a friend of mine here. I'm really quite worried--his name is Kamui-san--he--I think he was near the explosion. I'm so very worried…"

Saiki looked shocked, and tried to hide it. This time, Fuuma did grin, despite himself.

"Ahh," the policeman said, sounding almost shy, "Well, there was a boy here earlier. High school age, short--pretty? He went over in the direction of the park." Arashi glanced at Saiki, and he nodded.

"Oh, I'm _sure_ that's him! Thank you so much," Arashi added, bowing a little too low before turning and walking over to Saiki. Fuuma followed her, still grinning. Arashi--hidden from the police officer on the other side of Saiki--looked disgusted at herself, a hand to her temple like she had a headache.

"That was different," Saiki said warily.

"Be quiet," Arashi snapped. "_You _certainly couldn't have done it."

"Chatted up a cop?" Fuuma asked.

Arashi glared at him and changed the subject. "You live around here, yes? Take us to the park."

She really _was_ pretty, Fuuma thought, feeling something almost like pride.

* * *

Yuuto had meant to take Nekoi straight to the Diet building, really he had. But they had passed an ice-cream shop on the way, and Nekoi had said she loved ice cream, and Yuuto had remembered that he hadn't eaten lunch yet, so they went there instead.

And after she had eaten her hot fudge sundae (Yuuto didn't know how a girl that small could eat such a gigantic pile of ice-cream), and after he had finished his cone, his lunch break was long over and Yuuto decided that rather that go back and be yelled at by his boss, he'd just not go back at all.

He felt like this might not be the most logical solution, but he figured that since it was 1999 a few missed days of work wouldn't be such a big deal. Yuuto laughed--he felt like a high-school student again.

"Hmm?" Nekoi asked, peering up at him, beaming--she had been doing so non stop all afternoon, and Yuuto wasn't sure whether or not this was because she was happy to be with him or simply because her face was always that way--"Yuuto-san, what's so funny?"

Being called Kigai-san, as she had done at first, made Yuuto feel weird, and he had put a stop to it. In turn, she had told him to call her Yuzuriha ("it's even weirder to be more informal then a grownup!"), and so a few hours after their first meeting he was Yuuto-san and she was Yuzi-chan.

Go figure.

"Ah, I was just thinking," Yuuto said cheerfully. After the ice-cream, they had started walking to the Diet building. There were faster ways to get there, but Yuzuriha's oohing and ahhing at the city was something Yuuto found very amusing. "You're a lot like my little sister, you know," he said without thinking, then inwardly winced--why did he say that? Another voice countered, 'why does it matter?' Yuuto tried to ignore it.

"Really?" Yuzuriha exclaimed, sounding excited. "I don't have any brothers or sisters! What's her name?"

"Tomoe-chan. She's twenty-four."

"Wow!" Yuzuriha said. "What does she look like?"

"…Like me, I guess, but shorter. She wears glasses," Yuuto explained. He looked down at Yuzuriha, then at Inuki--her inugami. Who'd have thought _those_ were real? Well, Yuuto supposed that if a guy like him could control water, inugami could also exist, but somehow it seemed odder then his powers. Yuuto _knew_ about inugami. What was next, he wondered distantly, a real-life onmyouji?

Yuzuriha had hugged him earlier, after he had said he could see Inuki, and then she had looked like she was about to start crying. Yuuto had awkwardly tried to comfort her, but she had explained she was _happy_, really. This hadn't made all that much sense, until Yuzuriha had explained that no one except for her grandmother had ever been able to see Inuki. This didn't make all that much sense, either, but Yuuto decided at last that it must be important to her that other people could see her inugami.

Or something.

Truth be told, he didn't really care. Sure, the girl was _cute_, and it was sort of interesting finding out about her, especially since her life seemed less then run-of-the-mill, but that didn't mean Yuuto really felt a driving urge to get to know her better.

"Wow!" Yuzuriha was saying. "I bet she's really pretty, huh?"

Yuuto was carrying one Yuzuriha's bags. He adjusted his grip on it. "She's very cute."

Yuuto looked around when they reached an intersection, reminding himself of where they were. He was Tokyo born and raised, but it was still a very big city and easy to get lost in--had he been looking at his companion, instead, he would have seen Yuzuriha's eyes seemed almost misty, and she exchanged a significant look with Inuki.

This was, they agreed--Yuzuriha always knew what Inuki thought, it wasn't so much that she could read Inuki's mind as much as… well, you didn't need to share a link with a piece of grass to know it was green, did you? Yuzuriha could just look at Inuki and know what it thought--and they both agreed that this was an amazing stroke of luck. Kigai-san (_Yuuto_-san, Yuzuriha thought with a mental giggle) was so polite and charming and nice… and he was so handsome, too! And he could see Inuki… it was almost too much to bear. Yuzuriha wanted to run around and sing at the top of her lungs, jump up and down and hug everyone she saw. To walk normally, to keep from acting like a hyperactive little kid, was taking every ounce of control she had. _He could see Inuki_. He could see Inuki, _and he was so cool!_

And he had bought her ice-cream, and said she was sort of like his little sister… Yuzuriha beamed despite herself. Even Inuki had been unable to sense anything deeper below the surface of Kigai-san. No one that could see Inuki could be a bad guy, Yuzuriha thought, but it was still slightly relieving to know.

"Hey, take a left here," Kigai-san ('call me by my first name, okay?' Yuzuriha giggled again) said, tapping her lightly on the shoulder. "It's just another two blocks. You'll get to a hotel on your own from there, right?"

"Yes, I'm sure!" Yuzuriha wasn't sure, actually. Grandmother had said, 'go to the Diet Building,' but hadn't mentioned anything about where she would be staying. Yuzuriha didn't really mind, though. Not now.

Yuuto nodded, mostly to himself. "That's good. Hey, Yuzi-chan," he said, after a minute of silence, "I'll give you my cell phone number, okay? Just in case."

_Cell phone number!_ Yuzuriha's mind screamed back at her. Oh, oh! This was just getting to be too much.

He made a face at her expression, tapping the top of her head lightly with his fist. "A cute girl with such a bad sense of direction should have an emergency contact," Yuuto explained. This time it was Yuzuriha who didn't notice her companion's expression: Yuuto wasn't entirely sure why he was being so friendly, and not entirely sure why it made him so uncomfortable, but the girl probably _would_ get herself lost again without someone to call, and she had said three times now that she had never, ever been to Tokyo before.

Anyway, it wasn't like Yuuto didn't know how to avoid phone-calls, if it came down to _that_.

"Can… I call you if I don't get lost, too?" Yuzuriha asked shyly, after a minute. The Diet building was in sight, seeming taller then it was, somehow. Inuki looked up at Yuuto, and wagged its tail once.

Yuuto looked down at both of them, and smiled.

_--Fuuma pushed aside a large, fanlike fern, and was out of the jungle and on a cliff made of a single stone--something wind-smooth and soft gray. The white bird flew away past the cliff, blending in with the seagulls that wheeled around in the air. The smell of the ocean was strong, and he could hear waves crashing. There was a slight breeze. He walked towards the edge of the cliff slowly, admiring the cloudless blue sky, and looked down at--_

* * *

_Footnote:_

The average Japanese person probably does know what an onmyouji is, actually. Inugami are a bit more obscure, but someone with a little magical knowledge (say, someone doing research on magic for a project/curiousity) would probably be aware of their existence, too. Subaru and Hokuto's powers are far _from unique, and are based off the pseudo science of onmyoudou, which has been in Japan since the 5th/6th century and was used as a way of fortune telling principally. The most famous onmyouji was named Abe no Seimei--interestingly enough, there is a shrine dedicated to him in Kyoto... the birthplace of Subaru and Hokuto._

* * *


	9. Clash

* * *

_much glory & thanks to SOPHIA PRESTER for her continued beta reading of this story!_

* * *

_Become (chapter nine – Clash)_

* * *

—_Fuuma was suddenly aware that he was not alone on the cliff's edge, although the other person didn't say a word. It was still a dream, he remembered suddenly, turning towards the jungle again._

_It was gone. The rock that the cliff was made of extended back a short way before vanishing into a whitish mist that stretched on forever. And of course Fuuma couldn't see through the mist, but he somehow was aware that there was nothing in it. Certainly not a lush jungle. The seagulls stopped crying, and when Fuuma turned back towards the sea he saw it was still there—but no, it wasn't. It was a cliff overlooking an ocean, but a different ocean. He was sure. The seagulls were still wheeling overhead, but silently. The waves crashing against the rock was the only sound. _

_Fuuma turned back towards the mist and looked at the person sitting on the ground. "Who are you?" he asks. The person—probably male, but his long hair and loose clothing made it hard to tell—didn't look up. _

"_I was curious," he says finally, his voice sad. "But I do not think that you understand it either."_

"_Understand what?" _

"_The future," the sitting man replies—_

* * *

Den all but stalked Sumeragi's apartment the next day, but Sumeragi—if even home—didn't so much as look out his window all morning. Or was it _her_ window? Den didn't know what to think.

After Sumeragi had left with that guy, Den had suddenly felt intrusive and had retreated to his own apartment with Sumeragi's ice pack. Den had put it in his freezer, but had periodically found himself checking on it. It was bugging him—that whole thing with Sumeragi—and for the first time in his life Den wished he had a job or _something_ that he could do to distract himself. He considered going to a movie, but settled for checking on the ice pack one more time.

That man had called Sumeragi "Hokuto-chan." Den had never heard of anyone with that name before, but he was almost positive it was a girl's. Considering that he had never heard Sumeragi's first name before, or spoken long to him, Den supposed it was possible that "Hokuto" was his first name, and that 'he' was in fact a she. The implications of cross-dressing, though, were the least of Den's worries.

He didn't consider himself a do-gooder or anything, not especially, but this whole thing was bugging him. Den knew some people were into that sort of pain thing, but he didn't think that extended to broken wrists—where was Sumeragi, anyway? It had been a day. He wondered suddenly if maybe that guy—Seishiro?—had _killed_ Sumeragi, or something.

"Why should I care, anyway," Den muttered, annoyed at himself. He felt guilty at once. Maybe it wasn't any of his business—hell, it _definitely_ wasn't his business—but the fact that he was a witness to the event had gotten him involved, simple as that. But then again…

This rather circular thought process was interrupted when Den—who had ended up standing by the kitchen window again—saw Sumeragi turn from the street into the alley. He—she? This was getting confusing—looked tired, but didn't seem to be bleeding or anything. Even his wrist seemed okay, although it was true that Sumeragi was still a distance away. Den felt oddly relieved.

Den retrieved the ice pack from the freezer and waited outside his door for Sumeragi to pass, not bothering to worry about how obsessed this might make him appear to Sumeragi. Sure enough, when the young man (woman? Den couldn't stop wondering about it now that it was in his head) passed, Den found himself on the tail-end of yet another icy glare before Sumeragi continued quickly towards the stairs.

"I have your ice," Den said.

Sumeragi stopped walking and turned to face him, a hand outstretched. Den hesitated. "So, who _is_ Hokuto?"

Sumeragi continued upstairs as if Den hadn't been there in the first place. Den considered, and followed. It was obvious that Sumeragi was in a bad relationship, right? Weren't you supposed to help out in cases like these…? Den was sure you were, and hurried up the stairs after Sumeragi.

The two of them passed Mrs. Inoguchi, who looked startled by Sumeragi and glared outright at Den—he distinctly heard her mutter about the 'young riffraff' as he hurried by. "Stop following me!" Sumeragi snapped suddenly, turning around in the middle of the staircase, arms outstretched.

"What is _wrong_ with you?"

"It's none of your business!"

"So I should just sit happily as that guy attacks you?"

Sumeragi looked lost for just a second, then turned around and headed back up the stairs. At the top of the staircase, he turned right rather abruptly and headed down a hallway, but when Den turned the same corner he saw Sumeragi standing and waiting for him, hands on his hips in a rather feminine manner—Den thought the word "Hokuto-chan" again, but was distracted by the way Sumeragi looked—distraught. Nervous, even.

"Seishiro-san is my _friend_. He's the only person I have, so you have no right to…" Sumeragi began to wring his hands. Something was wrong with that, Den thought, confused. Shouldn't that hurt? "It's none of your business."

"I don't see how a friend can break your wrist," Den pointed out. His hand was growing numb from holding the ice-pack. Sumeragi held up his hand, fingers spread.

"My wrist is fine," he said coolly. "It's not your concern."

"Yesterday it wasn't," Den said weakly, slightly amazed. He had seen it yesterday, but now it wasn't even _bruised_. People didn't heal that fast, did they? Had he been wrong? Den changed tactics. "For someone who doesn't want to talk about it, you're sure going on and on," he pointed out.

Sumeragi looked surprised, then glared. "Keep the ice-pack," he snapped, turning around and entering the apartment behind him so quickly that Den hardly even had the chance to blink before the door slammed shut.

* * *

There was a playground in part of the park, surrounded by trees on three sides and a soccer field on the fourth. The playground was deserted this time of day—most children were home eating dinner, after all—and it was fairly small. There were swings, two slides, a sand box and a jungle gym.

Kamui was sitting on top of the monkey bars.

He was sitting on his knees, a backpack balancing on the bar in front of him, and was digging through it with a look of intense concentration. Kamui tossed aside a balled up white tee shirt and a manga magazine with a bent cover before drawing out a small cardboard box. From this box he took a Band-Aid, and with a look of concentration he ever so carefully applied it to a small cut on his arm, letting the wrapping flutter to the ground.

"You shouldn't litter," someone said cheerfully, and Kamui suffered from a rather ungraceful display of surprise that nearly had him fall off the monkey bars. He glanced uncertainly at the tee shirt, manga and Band-Aid wrappers on the ground, and then down at the teenager that was watching him.

He was maybe a year or two older then Kamui and at least a head taller—the latter Kamui noted with slight irritation, having yet to reach his own growth spurt—and was leaning against a tree with his hands in his pockets in an annoyingly relaxed manner. His hair was short and spiky-messy, as if it had just been rubbed by a balloon, and he was grinning at Kamui.

Kamui glared, perching on the jungle gym. "Who the hell are you?" a thought occurred to him. "You're not from the train station, are you?"

The boy blinked. "Should I be?" Kamui recognized that he was from kansai from his accent—which was slightly odd, since Kamui didn't know anyone from Osaka. Certainly not him.

"Who're you?" Kamui repeated coolly.

"Sorata Arisugawa," the boy replied promptly, grinning. "Although if you'd like, 'Sora-chan' is also acceptable."

Kamui blinked, and then resumed his glaring. "So what the hell are you doing here?"

"Talking to you," Sorata replied fairly.

"Why?"

"Because you're Kamui."

Pause. "I'm Kamui Shirou, yeah."

"I know."

There was a pause. Kamui suddenly remembered he was sitting on top of the monkey bars and stood up abruptly, balancing for just a second before jumping down and landing neatly on his feet. His smugness at his perfect landing was interrupted by his backpack falling off the jungle gym, too, spilling its contents on the sand. Kamui blanched. Sorata laughed.

Kamui wondered if his dignity would be compromised if he cleaned up his mess, or if ignoring it was the best way to go. Before he had decided—opting instead to stand with his arms folded and glare—Sorata straightened himself up and ambled over in an irritatingly casual manner.

"By the way, since you asked, I know who you are since I was sent to Tokyo to find you," Sorata said cheerfully, picking up a pair of Kamui's socks and shaking sand from them. Kamui scowled and grabbed the socks.

"I didn't ask!" Pause. "Who sent you?"

Sorata's grin was getting _really_ obnoxious, Kamui thought angrily, but he let him help Kamui gather his fallen possessions and put them back in his backpack. The lights surrounding the playground flickered on—it was almost completely dark out now, Kamui noted distantly, shoving the socks into his backpack.

"So, what's this about a train station?" Sorata asked conversationally once the majority of Kamui's junk was put away. He picked up Kamui's copy of Young Magazine and flipped through it idly.

"Nothing," Kamui replied. It was getting tiresome to snap at Sorata—Kamui wasn't all that sure he _heard_ Kamui half the time.

"'Cause generally speaking, you don't bring something up unless it's relevant," Sorata pointed out. "Besides, the area was all taped up and the cops were there."

"If you knew that, then why ask?"

Sorata shrugged. "I was interested. You know, you're lucky no one was hurt."

Kamui rolled his eyes and flopped down onto the sand underneath the monkey bars. "I don't care about that." Pause. "Aren't you going to ask how I made a train station blow up?"

"Trying to show off?" Sorata asked, grinning again. "You did it 'cause you're Kamui, that's all."

Kamui gave a suspicious look towards Sorata, who grinned even further. "You'll find you ain't the only one who can make things blow up if they want… although most people have the common sense to put a kekkai up first."

The word wasn't familiar—well, it meant "barrier," but Kamui didn't understand the context—but Kamui wasn't interested in _that_ part of Sorata's statement. "Can you do that stuff too?"

"Course!" Sorata tossed the manga aside. "I ain't nothing on you, but I can do alright. I'm from Kouya, you know? Well, I guess I coulda been born somewhere else, but since I was three I've been up in that stuffy old temple learnin' all _sorts_ of tricks," Sorata explained cheerfully, sitting down beside Kamui—who shied away slightly. Sorata didn't seem to care—or even notice. "Anyway, when I was a kid I never really questioned _why_ I was there, I just thought it was cool that I was, but when I was thirteen Gramps—the old guy in charge—told me all about you."

Kamui blinked, then looked wary. "How does he know me?"

Sorata waved the question away, flapping his hand. "Gramps is a astrologist, although he probably would like a more fantasy sounding word. He tells the future by lookin' at stars, you know? Anyway, after Gramps told me 'bout you, then I _really_ started learning stuff." Sorata pulled his knees up and rested his arms on them, one hand outstretched in front of them. "All for 1999, you know? And then last week, after school, Gramps told me it was time to go to Tokyo," Something flickered around Sorata's hand—blue-white and gone in an instant. Kamui stared. "And so I packed up, said goodbye, and here I am. Lucky that I found you so quick."

The flicker was back, several of them, little electric lines forming and vanishing and darting about. Kamui thought vaguely that it was no wonder Sorata's hair stood up. Sorata curled his hand into a fist and the gathering electricity vanished abruptly.

"'Course, lightning's a pain to control," Sorata said, whining in a way that suggested he was more amused then annoyed, grinning yet again. "Pleased to meet you, by the way."

* * *

The first thing Arashi noticed was that Kamui wasn't alone. The second thing she noticed was Kamui himself—or rather, that he was _pretty_. Too pretty. It was a little disconcerting—Arashi had expected Kamui to be, well, _taller_ if nothing else.

He and his companion—a rather tall, messy looking boy around Arashi's age—were sitting and talking in the sand underneath a metal jungle gym in the center of the playground. Sitting and talking _calmly_, even, as if Kamui hadn't just destroyed a train station. Arashi frowned. He _couldn't_ be Kamui, she thought, even though she knew at the same time that he was. Something inside her pulled towards him, to him, even though he was short and pretty and not what she had expected at all.

She frowned again, and glanced at Saiki. The blond looked uncertain, but nodded in reply to her assumed question: Yes, it's really him. The same guy as before. She looked back at Kamui to find him standing up, eyes narrowed, glaring at her, his companion also standing but in a far more relaxed manner.

"What the hell are _you_ doing here?" Kamui snapped.

"It really _is_ you," Monou said, sounding surprised, and Arashi suddenly remembered that he was with them.

"And who're your friends, huh?" Kamui asked, crossing his arms in front of him and stomping across the playground towards him. "Go away, Fuuma," he added, apparently changing his mind about his question.

"No, let's all do introductions," his companion said amiably. "The pretty girl can go first."

"Shut _up_, Sorata," Kamui snapped. The tall one—Sorata—grinned. Arashi decided she didn't like either of them.

"Fine then," 'Sorata' said, cheerfully ignoring Kamui, "_I'll_ go first. My name is Sorata Arisugawa. I'm seventeen, come from Mount Kouya, and am one of the Seven Dragons of Heaven." Beat. "Nice to meet you."

"Dragons of huh?" Kamui asked, blinking, confused out of his aggression. Monou also seemed confused, and Arashi and Saiki shared a concerned look. There was no way this fool could be a Seal… right? Arashi had thought they'd be… well, more like Saiki, actually. She had been surprised to hear he wasn't one, really… but that was besides the point for now. She stepped forward, mouth thin.

"To my left is Saiki Daisuke-san, aide to the Dream-Seer Hinoto-hime, and to my right is Monou Fuuma-san, a… friend… of Kamui's." It didn't seem like quite the right word, but 'someone Kamui used to play with as a child' didn't have quite the same ring to it. Kamui scowled, but before he could say anything Arisugawa had placed a hand on his should in a warning sort of way.

"And how about you, 'Neechan?"

"My name is Arashi Kishuu, of Ise shrine. I am also one of the Seven Seals." Arashi said coolly.

Arisugawa grinned. "That _is_ good news." He glanced at Arashi's companions. "Nice to meet all three of you."

"I don't think it is," Kamui snapped. "I want to know why you—" he pointed at Saiki "—are following me, and more importantly why _you_—" and at Monou "—are even here in the first place."

Monou stepped forward, expression sour. "Kishuu asked me to help find you. I don't know why you're being such a brat."

Kamui's expression darkened. "I don't want you to get involved in _my_ life. Just 'cause we were friends when we were _kids_ don't mean I want to talk to you now. Things happen."

"Like my mother _dying_ and you and Aunt Tohru running out of town the day after?" Monou said, sounding the closest to angry Arashi had heard him. She knew she should interrupt before things got out of hand, but at the same time…

"The tall guy's mom died?" Arisugawa asked suddenly, but quietly. Arashi was startled to find him standing next to her, hands in his pockets. She glared at him and he smiled back, so she turned her attention back to Kamui and Monou.

"It is news to me as well," she said at last, resolving to at least _try_ to get along with him. They were both Dragons of Heaven, after all.

"I feel like I'm on the set of one of those bad talk shows," Arisugawa remarked unhelpfully.

"That wasn't…!" Kamui snapped. "It's not like I told mom to go!"

"You didn't even go to the funeral! Kotori cried for days, as if it wasn't bad enough that mother was _dead_!"

"You have no idea what it was like!" Kamui yelled. "What my life—"

"Oh, your life? It must be _terrible_," Monou replied, sounding rather sarcastic. "Poor Kamui. You know, Father spends all his time in the temple now! It's just me and Kotori, and she's still _sick_—"

Arashi suddenly noticed _something_ around Monou, something whipping around like visible wind, but faintly. Saiki and Arisugawa didn't appear to have noticed—she hesitated and brought her thumbs and forefingers together to make a roughly triangular shape, a simple spell. When she looked through the gap, the energy was much cleared—the _magical_ energy. What did it mean? Arashi frowned.

"AT LEAST YOU HAVE FAMILY!" Kamui roared suddenly, fists clenched, and suddenly he looked like he might cry. "Mom's DEAD, okay?"

Monou looked startled, and the magical energy forming around him vanished abruptly. Arashi frowned again, trying to figure it out. She had hardly been paying attention to the fight itself, and was mildly surprised to see Kamui suddenly calm as well.

"There was a fire. The house burnt down. No one could find a cause or anything, but they _did_ find mom's…" Kamui looked almost hesitant for a moment, "Her remains. I was on my way home from school and the house was just… burning. And mom was in the middle of it, but I…" Kamui glanced suddenly at Arisugawa, who looked sympathetic but not all that surprised, and then at Saiki and Arashi herself. He didn't finish his sentence, but returned to his arms-crossed-glare that Arashi almost suspected was a habit more then an expression of his feelings.

"'His mother shall burn as sacrifice, and Kamui will return to Tokyo,'" Arisugawa said slowly, seriously, sounding like he was reading from a book. Everyone stared at him, but he looked only at Kamui. "It's how I knew to come. Gramps told me."

Kamui looked shaken, and then turned around abruptly and ran away. Arisugawa hesitated, then shot Arashi a grin. "It was _real_ nice to meet you, 'Neechan. See you guys later," he added as an afterthought, and then—stopping to pick up a backpack off the ground—hurried after Kamui.

"Should we, um, follow?" Saiki asked, sounding taken aback.

Arashi glanced at Monou, who was staring after Kamui with an odd expression on his face, and then she frowned. "Actually, I'd like to talk to Hinoto-hime," Arashi said slowly. "Monou-san, would you please accompany us?"

Kamui would be all right, she was sure of that—especially with one of the Seals with him. But the matter of Monou, on the other hand… Arashi's eyes narrowed. _Something_ was going on here, and she would be the one to find out what.

* * *

—"_The future," the sitting man replies, and then Fuuma wakes up._

* * *

_footnote: "Young Magazine" is a manga magazine aimed at teenaged boys. 'Coincedentally,' it is also the magazine that the CLAMP series "Chobits" ran in._

* * *


	10. Meeting

_thanks to the lovely **sophia prester **for beta-reading! and I'm so sorry for the long delay, everyone! I hope to update faster in the future. thank you all for bearing with me--i hope you enjoy this chapter._

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* * *

Become (chapter ten – meeting)

* * *

_

Subaru's apartment was mostly unfurnished and completely undecorated. He had no television, and on the living room wall where one might normally be placed he had hung a dry-erase board instead, on which he wrote down his schedule for the week, as well as reminders to buy food and water the plants he kept in a vague sort of hope of them making the apartment look 'homey.'

The plants were long dead of thirst. Clearly, the board was only partially helpful.

That morning he made himself a cup of coffee with plenty of cream and sugar—Subaru knew vaguely that such a thing was considered feminine, but black coffee was too bitter and he needed the caffeine—and stared at the part of the board reserved for the day's jobs.

It was blank.

Subaru wracked his brain; had he forgotten to write something down? Had he missed a phone call from his grandmother? Nothing came to mind. Could it be, then, that Subaru actually had no work to do? He considered briefly calling Seishiro-san, because Subaru honestly had no other idea what he should do with his time.

Instead, Subaru decided to finally get rid of those dead plants. It seemed productive.

He somehow wasn't at all surprised to find that annoying brown-haired neighbor of his standing by the stairwell. Subaru considered himself a good judge of character, and it was clear what this neighbor was like even without the ability to read others. The man was nosy, spoiled, rich—good looking enough to spend his time trying to improve his appearance. His hair, for example, was short and fell around his ears, his bangs brushed back just so with just a strategic strand or two remaining over his forehead. Subaru tried not to show his distaste.

The man stood up from where he had been leaning against the stairwell's wall. "Look, Sumeragi," he started to say, but Subaru set the dead palm tree he had been carrying down on the ground angrily.

"If you're going to keep bothering me, you could at least tell me your name," he said coolly.

The man blinked, shrugged, then smiled slightly. "Den Ishikawa, nice to meet you," he said easily, "So how about your name, then?"

Subaru frowned. "Subaru Sumeragi."

"Not Hokuto?" Ishikawa asked, eyebrow raised like he already knew the answer.

"No," Subaru snapped, "it's not. So now that we know each other, Ishikawa-san, get out of my life. I don't want to know you, and I certainly don't want you in my business."

"Look, I wanted to apologize," Ishikawa said, "I know I'm intruding. It's just that there's no way in hell I can believe that you really like that—Seishiro guy—not after the way he treated you. And I know we're strangers, but I still think that I have the right to tell you—"

"For the last time!" Subaru exclaimed, "Seishiro-san is my _friend_. I don't question your life, and so you can stop questioning mine." He picked up his dead tree again and brought it out to the dumpsters. Subaru was headed back to his apartment when he noticed Ishikawa still standing by the stairwell, obviously waiting for his return. Subaru felt an odd sort of rage at that, and turned around again, walking down the alley and into the street on the other side.

Subaru walked purposelessly for a few minutes, angry for some reason he couldn't quite place. Well—no—he could place it—how dare that man! He knew nothing about Subaru, about Seishiro… and he had kept saying the name Hoku…t…o… Subaru suddenly felt dizzy.

Why? Why was it like this—why did he feel dizzy at the mention of her name—her—his sister's name. Hokuto was dead. His sister. "My name is Subaru," he said quietly to himself, standing stock still in the middle of the sidewalk and being jostled by salarymen. "Subaru."

One could hardly blame him for being upset at the mention of his sister's name, Subaru decided, but he waited until the dizziness was gone before continuing his walk all the same.

There was a coffee shop a few blocks away, on the corner and mostly full. Even though Subaru had just had breakfast, he went inside and found a small, empty table anyway, ordering more coffee and picking up an abandoned newspaper. Reading an article about a gas explosion that had happened in a suburb the night before—a train station had blown up, apparently—Subaru let the whole thing with Ishikawa slide away again. He hated getting worked up like that… he really shouldn't let it affect him so much…

Subaru ordered more coffee and a muffin, feeling better already. He was halfway through the paper when a voice cut through his concentration. "Can I sit here?" a woman asked him, polite and lightly amused. "All the other tables are full."

Subaru nodded, not looking at the woman, and drew his cup and plate and paper close to him. The woman sat down and began to tap her fingers on the table while she waited for her coffee. It was distracting, and Subaru looked away from the society section to ask her to stop.

He was surprised to see she was a foreigner. Her accent had been perfect—Subaru never would have guessed. But the woman was not Japanese. No Japanese woman had curly red hair like she did, or such wide eyes.

She was looking at him, too, eyebrow raised. "It's unusual to see a young man like yourself reading the fashion sections," she remarked lightly, smiling. Her lips were bright red, her nails manicured, her eyes lined with mascara and her face colored with blush. Her dress was modest but tighter then it needed to be—everything about the woman screamed 'look at me.' Or rather, 'look at me, I am attractive.'

Subaru hoped she wouldn't hit on him. He folded the paper in half, covering the section he had been looking through protectively. "I'm sorry, do I know you?" Subaru asked politely, sure that he did not and hoping she'd take the hint that he wasn't interested in making friends.

"I doubt it—I'd remember meeting a good looking boy like you," the woman said, smiling broadly. "No, we've never met, but…" she leant forward over the table, "one could say I felt _drawn_ to you."

Subaru matched her gaze coolly. "I'm not interested in that," he said quietly. The waitress brought the woman her tea and excused herself, and after the girl was gone the red haired woman spoke again.

"This seems a forward question, I know, but do you have any powers of any kind?"

If the question was suspicious, it hardly registered in Subaru's mind. He had been a professional Onmyouji since he was nineteen—no, sixteen—and was used to answering inquiries as such. "Yes," he replied, then remembered the blank dry erase board and leant a little towards the woman without thinking. "Were you hoping to hire me?"

It wouldn't have been the first time. People were wary of magic in these days, and Subaru had more then once had potential clients try to feel him out for themselves before letting him know they were interested.

The woman laughed softly. "Oh, heavens no. Gosh—what do you do for a living to ask something like that?"

Offended, Subaru leant back and frowned before answering. "I'm Subaru Sumeragi, head of the Sumeragi Clan of Onmyouji."

"I've never heard of them," the woman replied lightly, and then extended her hand over the table for Subaru to shake. "Karen Kasumi. Head of nothing, but one of the Seven Seals."

Subaru didn't take her hand. He stared at Kasumi coldly. "I've no interest in that battle," he said quietly, "so if you've come recruiting, go somewhere else."

"I saw you—I was walking by, and I saw you through the window, and I just _knew_," Kasumi said, ignoring Subaru's words. "I wonder if it'll be like that with Kamui?"

"How do you know we will even fight on the same side?" Subaru asked.

Kasumi smiled again. "You have such kind eyes. I can't believe a kind boy like yourself is one of the Harbingers. And if I had any doubts, your words just confirmed it."

"I was never supposed to fight in that battle," Subaru protested, "you don't understand." The dizziness was returning suddenly, and if Subaru didn't accuse Kasumi of lying herself it was only because he was somehow drawn to her, too. Grandmother had told him about the End of the World, but—_Kakyo said he'd be fighting,_ Subaru remembered suddenly. The dizziness grew stronger.

"Are you okay?" Kasumi asked, concerned. Subaru clenched the edge of the table in his hands, feeling sick to his stomach. _Sei-chan and Kakyo will fight as Harbingers, _Subaru thought wildly.

"_I can't make a kekkai," _Subaru hissed, "I've never been able to—never will. You don't understand, Kasumi-san. I'm _not a Seal_."

"You're Subaru Sumeragi," Kasumi said, taking a sip of her tea, her eyes never leaving Subaru, "aren't you?"

"Yes. I am," Subaru replied firmly, feeling a little of the sickness fade.

"Then, you are one of the Seals," Kasumi said simply. "Are you sure you're okay?"

_I am Subaru Sumeragi. Seishirou-san is my friend, and I am Subaru Sumeragi. My sister is dead_, Subaru thought, even in his mind the words coming slowly, piecing together through syrup. But it was the truth. He felt calm again.

"I can't fight," Subaru said again. He wished he had never mentioned the kekkai thing, but it was too late now. "The main requirement of a Seal is the ability to create a kekkai, correct? Since I cannot do that, I am not part of the Final Battle."

"One needs only the proper motivation," Kasumi said firmly. "If you're not a Seal, you're a Harbinger."

"Grandmother said I was to be a Seal," Subaru said, "but you see, it's impossible for me to do that—I can become an Onmyouji like she asked, but I can't take on a destiny that isn't—" he cut himself off, clenching his teeth.

Kasumi shook her head. "Okay, okay. Heaven knows I can't force you if it isn't what you want," she said kindly, reaching into her purse and pulling out a business card, "but you know, if you change your mind—just give me a call, okay? The number is right on the card."

Subaru nodded and picked up the business card, noting with no real surprise that the woman worked in the pleasure district. Kasumi riffled through her purse and pulled out five hundred yen, which she placed in the middle of her table to pay for her coffee. "It was nice speaking with you, Sumeragi-kun," she said fondly, giving Subaru one last smile before standing up and leaving.

Subaru stared at the business card for a minute longer, noting that the woman wrote her first name in kanji, too. Then he slipped it into his pocket absently, and spent the next half hour staring out the window, lost in thought.

* * *

"You're late," Kanoe said to Yuuto when he showed up at last at the hidden basement of the City Hall. He raised his eyebrows and smiled at her, looking around at the otherwise empty rooms.

"I wasn't aware I was expected," Yuuto said lightly, "Is Satsuki-chan around?"

Satsuki-chan—Satsuki Yatoji—was a fifteen-year-old super genius that had lately seemed to spend all her time here, instead of at home like Yuuto supposed a girl her age should. There was school, but Satsuki was already _out_ of high school. Her genius—and utter lack of social skills or even interest in social skills—tended to be more alarming then interesting, but Yuuto was fond of her all the same.

Satsuki and he both were Dragons of Earth. As far as Yuuto knew, they were the only of the Harbingers Kanoe—a dream seer, at least partially—knew of.

Thinking of Satsuki made Yuuto, quite suddenly, think of Yuzuriha, Yuzi-chan. The two girls were about the same age, weren't they? Smiling, Yuuto had to think that shared age was the _only_ thing they had in common.

"I need you to help me," Kanoe said impatiently, tapping her high-heeled foot on the stone floor. She was in full secretarial get-up today, in a knee-length skirt of a dark blue color, a white blouse and dark hose. And high heels, naturally. Kanoe always wore long stilettos, even though she was already quite tall without them. Her dark hair was not down, but tied back into a professional looking bun. Yuuto eyed her—the hairstyle was new.

"What do you require of me?" he asked, his voice not betraying his wariness.

"I have found another of the Harbingers—I think," Kanoe said, "but he is already, ah, under supervision."

"Aren't the Dragons of Earth supposed to come to us?" Yuuto asked, reluctantly sliding into 'business' mode. "Aren't we supposed to gather, not be gathered?"

"Yes, well," Kanoe admitted impatiently, "this one…" she sighed angrily. "He's a dream seer."

Yuuto quirked an eyebrow in interest.

Kanoe continued. "His mother is well aware of the fact, and has kept Kuduki—that's his name, Kakyo Kuduki—locked in a room of his house all his life, making him tell fortunes to others. As you may imagine, he _can't_ come to us."

"So we retrieve him," Yuuto finished.

"Satsuki-chan will use that computer of hers to keep watch. I will be visiting the Kuduki residence to have the mayor's fortune told—at least that's what I said when setting the appointment—but in actuality I want to make sure Kuduki is in fact one of the Harbingers."

"And I'm the muscle?" Yuuto asked, amused.

"Yes," Kanoe replied coolly, "Kuduki is apparently very well guarded."

"So we have to kidnap a dream seer," Yuuto mused, "sounds fun. Like a video game."

"There's nothing 'fun' about it," Kanoe snapped, her hand flying to her shoulder as if to throw her hair over it, before she remembered it was tied back. "According to my sister's dreams, the Seals have already more or less gathered. Kamui is in Tokyo, and so are all the Seals. It's only a matter of time before they find each other, and here the _three_ of us are…" as she spoke she marched towards the elevator, pushing the up button forcefully and resuming the tapping of her foot.

"It's a pity you aren't a Harbinger," Yuuto remarked. "You're far more motivated then I am at it."

Kanoe scowled as if she privately thought the same thing. The elevator doors creaked open and the two of them stepped inside. Once they were at the ground floor, Kanoe led the way outside to a waiting black car that reminded Yuuto almost of a hearse for some reason—ridiculous. It was just a large, black car with darkened windows and a chauffeur. The inside, he quickly discovered, was quite nice. Thick leather seats, a mini refrigerator with airplane-sized bottles of water and alcohol, and a television screen bolted to the roof.

Yuuto spent several minutes playing with the climate control buttons on his end, while Kanoe stared morosely out the window. "Just look at this city," she said suddenly, tapping the tinted glass with one manicured fingernail, "Just imagine, in a few months, it'll all be gone."

"The driver might hear you," Yuuto pointed out, uninterested. He took a small glass bottle of mineral water (the label said from Switzerland) out of the fridge to drink.

"It's soundproofed," Kanoe said dismissively. "Look at these people—hurrying along, smoking twenty cigarettes a day, salarymen and office ladies all of them—that or fat housewives, or obnoxious little schoolgirls in mini skirts and padded bras. Tokyo is clean compared to _some_ cities, and it's all filth. Even the cherry trees are filthy."

The last comment struck Yuuto as a bit odd, but he ignored it. The water tasted like it came out of a tap.

"It'll all be gone," Kanoe repeated stubbornly. "She can predict differently, but they'll see."

Kanoe was probably talking about her sister, the dream seer Hinoto. Yuuto shook his head. He glanced furtively at the driver, and then began to play with the water remaining in his bottle—gathering it into the air, making shapes. "You really ought to have been a Harbinger," Yuuto said, sounding almost envious.

Kanoe humphed. "By the way, I think I know the names of two other Dragons of Earth," she remarked, "although not the locations. One my sister predicted, years ago—a girl named Kazuki Toujou."

"Like the pharmacies?" Yuuto asked, "Toujou pharmaceuticals?"

Kanoe nodded. "The only problem is, the girl _died_ in her childhood—sickness of some sort."

"Is that allowed? For one of the destined Harbingers—or Seals, I guess—to die before 1999?" Yuuto asked, making the water in his palm look like a shaky, blurry tree—perhaps a willow. He smiled. He used to spend hours, as a kid, making shapes like this. He'd always been good at trees.

"It must be, if Toujou is dead," Kanoe said dismissively. "Either the reports are erroneous, or there's another way around. A sibling, perhaps… a parent, perhaps even a cousin. Magical power tends to run in families, so if Toujou really did die, there's still a chance she has a replacement."

Yuuto laughed. "How terrible. When you are destined to do something, that's nice, but wouldn't it be terrible to hear that you have to live someone else's destiny?" A thought occurred to him. "Say, what if Toujou's father is her replacement? Or her grandfather or something?" he laughed again. "Can an old man be a Harbinger?"

Kanoe didn't seem as amused by the idea. "Regardless, there is one more—potential—candidate for the Dragons of Earth. My sister says that the Sumeragi clan head is one of the Seals, which makes me wonder if perhaps the Sakurazukamori is one of _ours_."

"The who and what?" Yuuto asked. Now the water looked like a daisy.

"Onmyouji clans. The Sumeragi protect—and the Sakurazukamori kill. They hate each other, though—and are completely opposed. So it stands to reason that the Sumeragi's opposite—the Sakurazukamori Head—is one of the Dragons of Earth, no?"

"Onmyouji?" Yuuto echoed, resisting the urge to ask if that meant they were in fact real.

"The Sakurazukamori Head," Kanoe continued, ignoring Yuuto's remark, "lives in Tokyo. I know that—he's also male, in his thirties. But that is all I _do_ know."

"So, assuming Toujou is alive, and that Sakura-whatever is one of the Harbingers—plus me and Satsuki-chan and this guy we're picking up now, that's five. Who are the other two?"

"They'll just have to find us," Kanoe said reluctantly.

Yuuto's water turned into a wobbling octopus. "What about, you know… Kamui?" Saying the name was different then thinking it. Saying the name made his stomach twist—nervously? Excitedly? Yuuto didn't know. But the name _Kamui _held power, he did know that.

"Either he joins us, or the Seals. It is his choice to make," Kanoe said bitterly.

"Isn't that unfair? What if he chooses the Seals—are we just going to loose?"

Kanoe shook her head slowly. "I think…" she frowned. "Never mind that for now. Anyway, Kamui's future _isn't_ cemented. He could go either way, that's the whole nature of him. I wouldn't worry much—just put on a charming face if he comes calling, and we'll get him," Kanoe said dryly.

The car was now in an expensive looking suburb of large gated houses and formal gardens, and Yuuto guided his water back into the bottle without really thinking about it, looking out his window appreciatively. It must be nice to live in such a place.

The car pulled into a gated driveway that stood out because it was better protected then perhaps any other home in the neighborhood. The walls, though covered in ivy and graceful in design, were at least ten feet tall and made of cement, the top edged with shards of glass. The gate itself was heavy metal, and with mild alarm Yuuto noticed two guards—_armed_ guards—standing on either side. One of them approached Kanoe's window, and she pressed the button to lower it.

"I'm from the mayor's office," she said importantly, "I have a two-thirty appointment."

"We've been expecting you," the guard replied, glancing at Yuuto before nodding and stepping back to his post. Kanoe waved the driver forward, and they pulled through a small garden up a circular driveway with a splashing fountain in the middle. Yuuto was mildly nervous despite himself when he stepped out of the car, and found himself—almost unconsciously—noticing sources of water around him. The earth was wet from watering the plants—there was a hose tucked in a basket meant to hide it—there was the fountain itself. As Yuuto paid attention, he could even sense the water lines under the ground, the piping for the bathrooms and the sprinklers and the sinks and showers and appliances. He knew that if he tried hard enough, the water in the air around him would become apparent, but that usually led to a small cloud of mist forming around him, and that was probably to be avoided in a fancy place like this.

A curved double staircase made of white stone led to a small porch dominated by large double doors, and on the landing a woman waited for Kanoe and Yuuto. She wore an elaborate—and expensive looking kimono of a creamy yellow-white color, her hair tied back into an elegant knot. Her face was not as lovely as her clothing was—the woman had a look like she spent too much of her time worrying about looking young. Her face was pinched, her makeup perhaps a bit too strongly placed, her eyes larger then attractive. Her smile fluttered about her mouth and died at the first opportunity. For some reason, she reminded Yuuto of a moth.

"It is, ah, nice to meet you," she said to Kanoe, bowing her head and extending her right hand to be shaken, first by Kanoe and then Yuuto, who introduced himself. Her handshake was fast and reluctant, and Yuuto half expected her to wipe her right hand on the side of her kimono when done. "My name is, ah, Fumiko Kuduki. You are here, ah, to see the seer?"

"Of course," Kanoe replied, a trifle impatiently.

"You, ah, didn't say you'd have a, ah, guest with you," Kuduki said, glancing at Yuuto, who shot her his most dashing grin.

"Kigai is my aide," Kanoe said.

"I was under the, ah, impression that you were the mayor's, ah, secretary," Kuduki said, her voice as trebly as always, but somehow Yuuto thought she was accusing Kanoe of something all the same.

"Is that not an important enough job to warrant me my own aide?" Kanoe asked. Kuduki smiled thinly.

"I, ah, suppose that must be true. Please, ah, follow me," she added, leading the way into the house. Mansion, Yuuto supposed. The inside was every bit as grand as the exterior, with marble floors and high ceilings and paintings on the walls. Their footsteps echoed in the foyer, and Kuduki led the way through a hallway lined with picture windows, up a grand marble staircase, and to a small sitting room with three chairs.

A man in a suit who Yuuto suspected was another guard was standing outside the room, and with a gesture from Kuduki he nodded and strode quickly off. "He'll, ah, fetch the seer," Kuduki explained, ushering them into the sitting room and sitting in one of the three chairs. They were arranged in roughly a triangle around a coffee table, and Kuduki chose the one standing alone on the side of the table farthest from the door.

The room was small and the floor was dark hardwood. The walls were dark wood, too, and plain in comparison to the rest of the house. The window, Yuuto noticed, though grand and large and framed with elegant drapes, was barred. Aside from the chairs and the table, there was nothing else in the room except for a clock hung on the wall.

"You run this business?" Kanoe asked with what Yuuto suspected was professional interest.

"Yes. My, ah, husband was the one who had the, ah, idea, but he died nearly ten years ago," Kuduki replied, looking stiff in her chair.

"Wherever did you find a dream seer willing to work for you?" Kanoe asked, and Yuuto knew her well enough to sense the accusation behind her words. For all of her own use of her powers—and her sister's—Kanoe disliked those that used a dream seer's powers to their own advantages.

"Kakyo is my, ah, son," Kuduki replied. "He, ah, does it willingly for his, ah, mother. Ah," she added, and Yuuto didn't at first take it to be anything but a stammer. Kuduki stood from her chair, and he turned around. In the open doorway, in front of the guard and holding on to the doorframe, stood a man that must be 'Kakyo.'

To Yuuto's surprise, he felt pity for the man. He couldn't be very old, and looked younger. He was pale—pallid, really—and thinner then he ought to be, with long pale hair that fell nearly to his shoulders in disarray. He wore a yellowish sleeping kimono, and seemed to hardly be able to enter the room. His eyes were wide, and dark, but he looked at Kanoe and Yuuto not with suspicion, but with something almost like resignation.

Kuduki—his mother—was awash with false sympathy. Not stammering at all, she led him to the chair she had sat in, cooing about his messy appearance and chiding him for not eating his dinner, fussing motherly in a way that didn't fool anyone for a second. Kuduki excused herself quickly, and Kakyo—unmoving, watched her go with his eyes, slumped back into the chair weakly.

In the silence of the room, Yuuto was alarmed to hear the clicking of the door's lock. He remembered the bars on the window, and almost smiled. So they were locked in—or rather, Kakyo was.

"I know why you are here," the boy said tiredly.

"Do you know who we are?" Kanoe asked. Kakyo looked at her.

"He is one of the Harbingers," Kakyo said quietly, waving weakly to Yuuto, "and you are _her_ sister."

Kanoe smiled. "She doesn't like you much, either."

"There's no point in changing the future," Kakyo said forlornly. "She isn't the only one who has tried." He was quiet for a long minute. "Forgive me for not sitting upright," he said sourly, "but I do not have much chance for exercise. My room is a portion of the attic. I cannot even stand up straight, and unless I am being escorted here I am not given a chance to leave."

"All Seers are prisoners," Kanoe said, not unkindly.

"_She _thinks that I have it well," Kakyo said, waving towards Kanoe again. "Your sister believes that since I can see, speak—since I am more or less physically… correct… that I have it better then she. But your sister, she is… well liked."

"Have you no friends?" Yuuto asked.

Kakyo glanced at him. "What do you imagine? Of course not. I had one friend, but…" he looked back to Kanoe. "The future has changed once before, did you know? Eight years ago, something happened that shouldn't have. It was a quick thing, and we dream seers have corrected ourselves since, but…" he smiled tiredly. "Something happened to me. Something _didn't_ happen to me. I was supposed to be comatose by this point," Kakyo explained, "but I'm still just a prisoner, locked in an attic all day."

He was silent for another minute, closing his eyes. Then he looked back at Kanoe. "Of course I want to go with you. But I cannot walk more then short distances, and the guards will certainly try to kill you and I alike for trying. I hope you have a good plan."

Kanoe smiled dangerously, her eyes flicking to Yuuto. "Oh, we do."

* * *


End file.
